Last night Republican candidates debated on Fox News. The show was interrupted abruptly when three polar bears disguised as Republican voters snuck into the theatre. The bears crept on stage and attacked Republican candidate, Donald Trump on live television. As the bears pounced on him, Trump reportedly fell to the floor in a flurry of patriotic yelling, while vowing to deport the man eating illegal aliens if it was the last thing he did. By the time animal control arrived the polar bears had mauled Trump and pranced off with his beloved hairpiece. GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, remembers the frightful experience. He states, “It’s times like these when I’m grateful I’m the zodiac. Predators don’t attack predators.”
When asked why the bears attacked him, Trump replied haughtily, “They were jealous! When was the last time you saw a polar bear running for president?” Trump seemed to have no recollection that the attack was due to climate change melting the icy habitats of the polar bears. We asked if this experience changed his belief in global warming. He responded confidently, “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” Even after this eye opening experience, Trump still doesn’t believe.