With their recent rise in popularity the prayer group ISIS received some criticism this past Saturday. While participating in their typical beheading, one “hater” accused them of going against the teachings of the Quran. He stated that Islam, a religion that aims towards bettering humanity, actually teaches AGAINST killing men, women, and children! Luckily ISIS was quick to respond to this outburst my setting him on fire the throwing him off a roof. A member of ISIS went live earlier this morning to clarify on how they hold true to Islam’s religious beliefs. He stated this following passage from the Quran; “ Indeed God does not love those who are aggressors,” (The Quran, 2:190). He then clarified by stating “As religious soldiers it is inevitable to be considered aggressors, and the truth is that God does not love aggressors, but really really really loves aggressors therefore as Islamic soldiers God loves us to a level that is higher than those who do not slaughter and destroy in the name of Allah”. They then proceed with their typical Sunday BBQ frying up some mouth watering Christians sauced with the tears of a nation, and seasoned with the ground up bones of abducted toddlers.