For centuries man has asked the singular question, “Where are my socks?”. Well after years of searching science has finally come up with the answer. Lead researcher Seymour Butts, in an exclusive interview stated, “The law of conservation of matter states that matter can neither be created or destroyed. It is through this philosophy that scientists at the Stanford University physics Laboratory have found the answer to the age old question of where socks go.” They have been able to determine that, dryer lint is, in fact, the mangled remains of missing socks. Their study shows that when exposed to the heat and tumbling of the dryer the socks undergo rapid physical changes breaking down to their simplest parts… LINT. This discovery has prompted further research in the field of dryers in applied physics, and local appliance companies are working on a less destructive dryer. Dr. Butts has not only discovered what happens to socks but also believes that with mild adjustments dryers can be used as a more cost efficient particle accelerator. This research truly opens the gates to the future of man kind, and one day, maybe one day we will have the everlasting socks we truly deserve.