Long debated across America and the rest of the world, the question of “over or under?” has finally been answered. A study from the top scatologists around the world shows that humans aged 18-30 show remarkably lessened levels of anxiety when utilizing the “over” method. Meanwhile, test subjects that were forced to use the “under” method were often found yelling at the roll of paper, irked by the cylinder’s lack of ability to unroll properly. In fact, two of these subjects were caught flipping the roll to the “over” position when using the toilet paper, and then reversing it back once they left the bathroom.
With this definite proof, the people of Earth may now begin a new revolution. The people of the “under” side might be tough to convince, but the evidence is indisputable. With this new information, the world will be flipped upside down to reveal a reality that may be hard for some people (“under” scum), but it is something the righteous must come together on to educate the weak-minded. Now that we have conquered the topic of toilet paper, we must move on to the next question: should one wipe standing up or sitting down?