“If The Zodiac Can Run For President, What’s Stopping Me?” Says A Serial Killer In Response To Ted Cruz’s Campaign

Ted Cruz

Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas speaks at King’s Christian Bookstore in Boone, Iowa, Monday, Jan. 4, 2016. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

As many of us know, the presidential race is going on right now. As with all presidential elections, people are inspired by those running, and start to believe that they too can make it into the White House. One of these people is a local serial killer from San Francisco, California. “Heck, if the Zodiac can run for president, what’s stopping me?” said the citizen, who asked to keep his identity anonymous. He went on to speak about how he would love to just put his feet up on the Oval Office desk, and how his knife collection would look great on the wall just over the door. He referenced Cruz as his idol and all time hero before he showed our team a few sketches he’d drawn, depicting a wall to put up around the United states, saying that he’s been inspired by the Republican candidates and their immigration policies. “We gotta keep the States pure,” he explained as he picked up a stray body bag, a dripping limb falling to the floor. “These is OUR country, what the hell will we do if these damn aliens get in and start killing people?”

Advertisements
“If The Zodiac Can Run For President, What’s Stopping Me?” Says A Serial Killer In Response To Ted Cruz’s Campaign

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s