It is very obvious that India has a problem with poverty as the states of Bihar, Orissa, Jharkhand, and Chhattisgarh have a recorded poverty rate of over 40% and some figures even show the number of people who are in poverty nationwide at 300 million. Many wish to use government resources to provide these people with the basic necessities, such as food and shelter, but such plans are not truly effective in solving the widespread institutional poverty these people face on a daily basis. 70% of those in poverty don’t have access to a toilet, so they use the facilities outside their cramped shacks leading to the spread of cholera. Furthermore 85% don’t have access to education past primary school, so they have no chance to better themselves in society. To truly combat these horrific conditions and make sure that generations of Indians don’t suffer this atrocity we need to simply eliminate the lower class. Now this may seem a daunting task to kill a group of people almost as large as the U.S. itself, but considering that most of these people live in large slums those areas could easily be quartered off. Furthermore this is the most humane way to make sure that we don’t see poverty in India for years to come, because without the poor in existence no one will be born into such a depraved societal structure. As well Indians themselves have nothing to fear as considering nearly three quarters of them are Hindu or Buddhist they’ll simply be reincarnated, so all we’re doing is hastening their spiritual quest.
The question now becomes, how do we effectively euthanize such a large group of people? This can easily be done through a quick and humanitarian two step plan. The first, and most effective, plan of action comes from esteemed Indian scientist Dr. Nagarabadganjpuri who has invented a heavy gas that when deployed in a certain area will kill all living things quickly and painlessly, as well the density of the gas prevents it from spreading into more well off areas. This quick and humanitarian effort would at most cost the Indian government 50 million American dollars, and in only a few hours 75% of India’s poor will be put down and their suffering at long last alleviated. This would mark a momentous step in eradicating poverty, but it doesn’t solve for the urban poor who are more integrated with our civilization, as the gas would kill the more affluent members of society whose streets these beggars plague. The second installment of this plan would be to equip our Animal Control Department with lethal shock collars and redub them the Poverty Control Department. This new department would mobilize the effort to the streets to combat those poor more entwined in our society. Citizens could contently watch the problem be solved before their eyes, and be left with the good feeling that their government was concerned with ending the suffering faced by the poor and the suffering that their children would certainly face in the future.
I know that some will question the humanity of this plan and will seek to provide, what they consider to be, more humane alternatives but we’ve been providing alternatives to this problem for decades and it’s clear that private charities and government aid can’t make a dent in the problem that we face. And for those who call this plan inhumane, we must consider their humanity because how can anybody consider themselves a moral individual if they wish for these unfortunate stains on society to keep multiplying, leading to immense poverty for all their descendants. We have let poverty get out of hand and current remediation plans will take decades, in which time over 200 more million people will have to experience the terrible conditions of the slums. Euthanizing the poor is the only humanitarian way to eliminate poverty, one generation of sacrifice will prevent the pain of many.