Cyberbullying? That’s what you wanted to talk about?

Dear Son,

Cyberbullying eh’? Really “bullying” on the internet. Is it really that big of a deal? When we were younger bullying happened face-to-face. Kids in your school are killing themselves for people calling them names? That’s absolutely ridiculous. Why are you  coming to us and telling us to do something about i? Who do you think you are. Get out of my face. As long as you keep talking about this shit, you don’t eat in our house. You begged us to get you a new laptop for your birthday, and now you are being called names on your laptop. How about you close the computer? Is that an option? Take your ass down the street to live with your friends if you keep this up. You think this is acceptable? Please leave my house. I thought it was good news when I found out sixteen years ago when the doctor said we were having a boy. I swear I was excited, but now it’s ridiculous. I was going to say that a girl would have been better, but that would have engulfed maaaaaannyyy more problems. So how about you go up to your room to do your homework and you stay off FaceGram, and InstaSnap, and stay off Twitbook too while you’re at it. Stay on the screen for your essay that’s due. So when we call you down for dinner there aren’t tears streaming down your face.


          Your Parents

Dear Son,

Please. Cyberbullying? Cyberbullying. Really? Wow. Interesting. Can’t you just open your computer? I almost want to call you names for taking that seriously. It’s very girly to do that. They call you fat? Really? Why do you care?  I’m confused why you can’t just have a real altercation at school. I’m confused why you can’t punch them in the face at school if it really makes you feel bad. Let me tell you something. When I was a kid, I came home crying because of some real bullying; I think I was in the tenth grade. I came home crying because some bully took my money. Yup, they jumped me, and took my money. I came home crying, and my father was sitting on the porch and he wouldn’t let me come in the house. I want you to be like me. I want you to go out and apologize to this bully for being so vulnerable. You already know both of your parents truthfully don’t like you. All your complaining has gotten annoying. This is how you handle a bully, I want you to let them take away your dignity to see how it feels.  


          Your Dad

Dear Weirdo,

I am so sorry. Honestly, I didn’t know how much this would hurt. Maybe I should stop. It’s pretty rude I don’t want you to kill yourself or anything. I only was joking around. I promise, I was just joking. We can makes things better again. Why can’t we be friends? It was a prank bro its a prank. I’m sorry you feel this way about yourself that you look to us to bully you . It’s almost helping you in a way, to bully you. I wish you would take me seriously. I wish you would thank me for my  bullying. We both know it makes you a better person in the end. We both know that the way you are could be embellished by some bullying every now and then. I’m sorry that you can’t take a joke. I’m sorry that you can’t take what I give to you as a blessing instead of a curse.  



Cyberbullying? That’s what you wanted to talk about?

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