Fugly to Fine: The Miracle of Cyberbullying

Ugly people rule over our society. They are everywhere and you cannot avoid their presence. So if we can’t avoid them, why not change them? There are so many ways that we can manipulate the inferior members of society to conform to our ways. Us popular kids know how to live life to the fullest while playing varsity sports and partying 24/7. We need to get all of the nerds and losers to our standards or they will be exiled and outcasted until they can realize their flaws. The foul outward appearance they excrete is a nuisance and simply adds to the imperfect society we live in, so why not cut it off at the source and improve all the inferior individuals in the world?

The easiest way to take advantage of someone is exposing their insecurities on the endless selfies uploaded instagram, twitter, and facebook. Simply posting a comment such as, “Wow, is that a pimple or another nose?” or “Your hair looks like a stray dog decided to climb onto your head and die” is the first step in destroying someone’s self confidence. Another possibility is to point out their quirks and unique personality by making it sound horrible and weird. An example of this is saying that a group of friends that are all guys are gay or  saying that the kids that play Pokémon are 5 years old. This makes their favorite activities and pastimes look like child’s play and makes them look like immature and stupid teens. Social media is the best platform to really crush someone’s dream and get them to realize the only dreams that actually matter, those of being popular!

Cyber bullying is also a way to get fat kids off their phones and out exercising so they can become popular and attractive like the other cool kids in society. By continually oppressing  and singling out the obese and ugly people, you can make them self-conscious of their true colors and assist in the correction and ultimate transformation from loser to likable! Help that they receive is complementary so they should be grateful and realize how much of a favor us popular folk are doing for them. We are risking our glamorous reputation for the sake inferiors and we should get nothing but love for doing so.

Social media is the platform for future success. It opens doors for the antisocial outcasts to  lose their pervious priorities and make personal image trump all. With excellent abilities in the field of sociability comes endless friends and likes on Instagram. Without cyberbullying, our society would be filled with the undesirable faces of nerds and losers.

Now that you have been reformed from the Minecraft playing nerd you were, you realize sports are the key to a happy and successful youth. You have your choice between football, baseball, and basketball which are the three sports that will boost your ego and get everyone to love you. Football players obviously get the most girls with their huge muscles and pea sized brains. Girls love a guy who can bash others heads in but cannot get above a 2.0 GPA, because they are simple and easy to handle. Anyone who can hold a conversation for more than a minute is too far beyond their level of knowledge and therefore cannot be accepted into the hearts of the popular girls. Lack of intellect and heightened ability in the field of athletics is the way to the perfect cheerleaders heart.

In helping these troubled teens find their path, we open a gateway to a more beautiful and attractive society. The vile and uninviting appearances of a majority of society will be morphed into the stunning, athletic, gorgeous, and aesthetically pleasing people you wish to see all the time. These new found aspects of life let people who may have formerly been hideous and unpleasing to the naked eye, now fit in with the trendy and more or less name-brand high schooler that rule the school. Thanks Cyberbullying!


Fugly to Fine: The Miracle of Cyberbullying

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