Hate or Date

Host: “Hello Everyone! Welcome to Hate or Date! I’m Alex Granduer, the host of the show. This dating show who matches the perfect man with the perfect woman! Here, we match men with the woman of their dreams, and make sure to do it right, but only one man will be leaving with his perfect woman to take home for the night!”

Audience: *Whoops and Whistles*

Alex: “Oh there are some WOMEN in the audience here with their men tonight, isn’t that right gentlemen?”

Audience: *Whoops loudly*

Alex: “Make sure to f*** them nice and hard in the a** since the sluts like that! Go ahead and f*** them here, if you want!”

Audience: *Cheers loudly, men reach for women*

Alex: “Aright! Let’s introduce the contestants! Contestant number one,Darren Hadren! Come on out!”

Darren: *Runs up to his stand, waving all the way*

Darren: “Hey, Alex!”

Alex: “Hey Darren! You ready to win big tonight?”

Darren: “Oh definitely. I’ve been looking for another sweet piece of a** for a long time that won’t be a b**** with periods and functioning ovaries, so I could just f*** her nonstop!”

Alex:”That’s wonderful! Tell us some more about yourself!”

Darren: “Well, I used to work as a manager at Hooters, but some b**** filed a complaint against me for touching her boobs and p****all the time. I got canned. Like, really? Boobs and p**** are the reason I had that job! She should have expected me to f*** her with the lingerie SHE was wearing. What a slut.”

Alex: “I’m sure we all feel for you, Darren. If you had one thing to say to that hoe tonight, what would you say?”

Darren: “I’d say ‘Lisa, you piece of s***. I hope you’re still  hooker on the street who has to f*** a guy with a small dick, and who won’t even pay you to feed you and your bratty kid!’”

Alex: “Well, good luck tonight! Hope that fat*** b**** regrets what she did to you!”

Darren: “Thanks, Alex.”

Alex: “Alright, let’s introduce our second contestant, Mike Golmer! Mike, come on out!”

Mike: *Strides out, flexing his arms and legs as he walks up to his podium*

Mike: “’Sup Alex!”

Alex: “’Sup Mike! How are you feeling tonight?”

Mike: “Well, I feel pretty great being on the show. I’ve already f***ed pretty much every chick in my hometown, teens included, so I want to settle down and find the girl of my dreams.”

Audience: *Awwww*

Alex: “That’s very touching, Mike. What is she like?”

Mike: “Well, She should be a size 0, no more than that. She should have huuuuge boobs. Like size E. I want her to have a thigh gap and no hair on her legs or arms. She should have a 12 inch waist, and she should be eternally wet by my presence, so anytime I want, I can f*** her out of the blue. She should also get her tubes tied, because I don’t want her to get pregnant and ugly.”

Alex: “Sounds swell, Mike! Good luck!”

Mike: “Thanks Alex.”

Alex: “Alright gentlemen! Let’s get this game started! Question number one… What should your woman do if she gets pregnant?

Darren: *buzz* “She should go to the abortion clinic without telling me, and I’ll beat her if she doesn’t to abort it myself! No woman of mine is gonna have a slobbering kid!”

Alex: “Correct! 50 points for the correct answer of ‘abort the fetus immediately’! Second questi-… Oh no. I’m sorry folks,but I’ve just been informed that our prize has just been found in her dressing room on a noose. I’m sorry, gentlemen, but our game will have to wait for another day. Thanks for tuning in to watch ‘Hate or Date”. See you next time!”

 

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Hate or Date

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