Methamphetamine: Creating Super Soldiers

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Good evening to the ladies and gentlemen representing the various military factions of the United States of America. My name is Dr. John Mengele. The effectiveness of a nation’s military power follows a chain of strengths and weaknesses. Guns, weapons of mass destruction, and advanced technology have always been the strongest link in the chain. Soldiers are unfortunately the weakest link; I intend to make the soldiers far stronger. Today I present to you the next era of unequivocal victory through our most potent and cost-effective soldier enhancement ever: methamphetamine.

The beneficial effects of methamphetamine has long been observed by both inside and out of the scientific community. Users experience heightened awareness, a sudden increase in physical energy, decreased fatigue, a reduced appetite, and euphoria. A simple explanation, but this alone does not do meth enough justice. 3 years ago, an “Oregon man on meth fights off 15 cops while masturbating in bar”. The title speaks for itself, but the man had reportedly sustained “a Taser multiple times but it had no effect…”. Three extremely useful applications immediately come to mind. 1: Physical prowess. All combat will improve beyond bounds of intensive training. 2: Enhanced mental state. I can only compare this mentality to Superman’s feeling of true invincibility and power. 3: Liability. Originally, airstrikes have brought about liability to the U.S. Military. Outrage from the homefront destabilized the effectiveness of perfectly good drone strikes. The difference now, though, is when civilians are butchered, the commanders can easily blame it on the mental state of the soldier. Men under the stress of the battlefield, who are merely surviving, makes an easier case for these deaths intended for the ignorant mind of the public whose lack of intelligence cannot comprehend the necessities needed in war. Lack of liability abolishes obstacles, and the carnage can happily continue.

However, the new super soldier is not yet a true apparatus of destruction. Insubordination has always been a problem plaguing every military. The past solution has always been either dishonorable discharge, imprisonment, or execution, depending on the crime. I offer you a different solution, one that will not remove soldiers from your ranks. The solution is as simple as this: forcibly take away the dissenter’s supply of methamphetamine. This is a true blessing in disguise –  removing meth from the soldier will induce psychotic behavior, paranoia, and depression, which can now be turned to your advantage. The withdrawal effects are worst during the first 24 hours, and disobedience can be solved in a mere day. The entire military will be utterly submissive to your rule.

Meth is not just a simple concoction intended for only recreational and, hopefully, military purposes. Methamphetamine is persuasion in a small plastic packet, control over others that can easily be distributed. I ask you, the military, to not limit the potential of meth. While I am perfectly content with use of meth in battle, I believe there are a vast amount of other benefits. For instance, those informational assemblies military factions have at high schools and colleges? You can spend a lot of time and preparation to snag only a small percentage of students; the cost outweighs the result. Or, you could instead give the teens, the fresh adults, the new and gullible minds a taste of what it means to have power. Not an abstract social-psycho concept, but tangible power, the kind that rips heads off bodies, that drenches the earth and nearby bodies with blood, that plasters guts and organs on the walls and windows of a war-torn city. You can give the meth to not just the students, but to any and all who are eligible to join the military. Very soon, you will have enough manpower to dominate the world. It is no exaggeration to say that methamphetamine lives inside the infinite realm of possibilities; with the impossible redefined, you, the commanders and generals, will find yourself to be the most powerful men and women in the world.

Methamphetamine: Creating Super Soldiers

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