Teenagers must drive faster and drunker in order to provide awesome entertainment for those watching. The most beautiful sight to see is when several kids are completely mutilated by a car crash with limbs and blood covering the ever so beautiful asphalt. Every day, ambulances rush to the scene of yet another gift from god. Car crashes are an amazing sight, especially when the victims are so young and worthless. The carnage of the wreck is a work of art. The heavy metals crashing in every direction around lifeless bodies with blood dripping from the fingertips is truly beautiful. The color red drenches the surrounding area. The sound of screams from the children trapped in the jaws of the crash happen to be most pleasing to the ears. To go along with it, the free campfire created by the wreck attracts many families from the area. Here, the public can listen to screams of the teens still trapped inside the flaming vehicle.
This beautiful spectacle has created spectacular entertainment for the American people. Americans now adore watching the immature kids of our generation drink themselves silly and drive straight to their deaths. People grab seats on the sides of roads, highways, and freeways so they can get a front row seat to all the action. The most entertaining crashes happen to be the goriest. After the lifeless teens are placed in body bags, a loud applause and a thunderous laughter erupts from the crowd.
I recently got a front row seat at one of the best crashes of the week. The car being driven was a small Honda Civic and inside, there were 5 teenagers. The driver was a 16-year-old boy and he and his best friends had just gotten back from a party. The teenage driver, attempting to impress his friends, got the car to a speed of 100 miles per hour! It was only seconds before the beautiful crash happened before my eyes. The teen driver lost control of the car and the car began to flip over and over. It seemed as if the car rolled 100 fucking times! The car immediately was engulfed in bright orange flames. Although three kids had been thrown out of the car during the flipping, the driver and front passenger were still trapped inside of the inferno. The screams for mommy as the teens were being burned alive could be heard perfectly. These screams were music to my ears. After the fire department extinguished the fire, all that was left were the bones of the victims. The skin had been perfectly burned off the bodies and I assumed that dental records had to be taken for identification. Those who had been thrown out of the car during the flips were on the street laying in dark pools of blood. Their limbs were perfectly taken from their bodies and laid in various places on the road. One kid even had his stomach torn open. His guts looked so cool as they flowed straight out of his stomach and onto the blood-stained asphalt.
The parents of the victims were given high amounts of praise, for they were the ones who made this crash possible. These parents gave their children the freedom to make these decisions. In most cases, teenagers make the right decision to drink and drive. Nevertheless, the parents were super excited because they didn’t have to pay for college anymore. The town also celebrated the deaths of these teens. No one cared about these worthless lives and instead, they jumped at the opportunity to get drunk and celebrate. Thank God for all those who chose to drink and drive. You have provided America with one of the most entertaining and comical ways to get rid of your worthless fucking lives. RIP (Rot In Purgatory) to all those dumbfounded scoundrels who died just as unimportant as the rest of the teenagers in America. You will NOT be missed.