My name is Jordan and here at Bass Industries we take pride in our management and what the company stands for. We are known as the most elite and selective corporation on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York. Like all industries, interviews are required in order to be considered as an applicant for our job window. However, if you are closely related to any of the “big fishes” of Bass Industries, such as myself, then there is a high positioned spot in an office with a gorgeous view and an engraved plaque with your name on it. Whoever has that spot now will be terminated right away or downgraded to coffee runners and be treated like the worthless scum they are. Bass Industries does not take to heart the personal lives of its employees, but it is entertaining to see them grovel and writhe like earthworms being doused with salt.
Back to the description of this company, we are very selective when it comes to who represents the name of Bass Industries. If you come in a suit and tie with an adequate comb-over and annoyingly bright white smile, we will not even consider you but you could try Sears. For all you saucy wenches out there, it is highly encouraged that you wear the most revealing tops and tight pencil skirts you can find. My wife has shriveled away and I need something pleasurable to think about while masturbating all the stress I have been having throughout the day. I always love to pretend I dropped my ballpoint pen just so I can see up my attendees’ skirts to catch a glimpse of their lacy thongs they probably purchased at Victoria’s Secret for $27. Hot women are the best products to show off for our company because they know how to please our clients in more way than one, if you know what I’m saying.
On the other hand, women who have been hired and suddenly are pregnant must be cut loose immediately. Bass Industries is a billion dollar empire, not a “billion ways to complain about your bloated ankles and salty/sweet cravings” empire. If the women agreed to work for this company and there is a chance they will become impregnated, they should highly consider abortion or sterilization. Bass Industries is an every man for yourself type of company and having to take extra shifts to make more money for others is unjust. Having the money for yourself will push you into investing in something that is greater than having a burdening family on your shoulders. Children are only useful to take your anger out on and inherit the family business.
Here on the Upper East Side, we men bring in the income and place the “bacon” on the table, but who would ever eat that greasy crap? True men live off of filet mignon and oysters, which really help us with practicing our tongue skills…if you know what I mean to all you kinky brutes out there. Getting back to business besides talking about that other business, work is an escape for men to show their true skills on the work floor. However, the work floor can also be seen as a runway with all those chicks hustling their very voluptuous asses to deliver coffee orders. I mean, Jesus Christ!… it makes me as giddy as my wife who discovers that the latest Louis Vuitton pumps match her cocktail dress from Barney’s. That’s another factor about Upper West Side…we are a fashion emporium. Like I said previously, you have to dress the part to be the part. There’s no need for work skills, just leave that to the men. We know how to bring the money rolling in and I guess the women do too, but they should have the money thrown at them just the way large business tycoons, like myself, prefer it.