A speech written by a member of the American Freedom Defense Initiative (an anti-Muslim organization).
The year is 2018. Today we celebrate the 2nd anniversary of Donald Trump day. In 2016 the heroic Donald Trump was elected our presidential leader. He set a goal of freedom for our country, and we believe he is achieving it. He is making America great again. Trump has helped us do many things to improve our country. We have built a wall. We have worked endlessly to stop the entry of minority trash, especially Muslims, into our diverse and free country. We have deported millions of illegal immigrants. We have changed the way we interact with other countries. No more rolling over for peace agreements where we don’t get what we want. We are America! The land of the free! The Superpower! We know what’s best for the world.
Yet, the biggest triumph of our reign hasn’t been mentioned. We have finally begun to rid this beautiful country of the disease of Islamic terrorism. Since 9/11 Muslims have been trying to take over our land. Every single one of them are members of a terrorist group. They have hidden in their homes and planned their course of domination. All Muslims are terrorists! It’s proven that from birth Muslim children are capable of making bombs and handling deadly weapons. Terror and hatred for America is written in their genes. They are a threat that needs to be eliminated.
To make America safe from terrorism, President Trump has enacted a law, the Free America Act, that is bringing power back to the real Americans. By this law we have rounded up all Muslims, young and old, taken them from their homes, and placed them in camps. The establishment of these camps has done wonders for our American society. It has been weeks since I have seen anyone who even appeared to be middle eastern. Soon Muslims will completely cease to exist in American society! The only downside of these camps is that you can occasionally hear the screams and moans from the unfed Muslims. Yet, everything returns to peaceful quiet when the moaning Muslims are ushered into the incinerators.
Initially, doctors attempted to perform surgery on young Muslims to make them more patriotic and American. Yet, this government program proved to be a waste of time. When the program failed the fate of Muslim children became the same as the rest. Trump warns us repeatedly of the dangers of all Islamic people. He reminds us of the Muslims’ hate for the United States when he exclaims, “I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. I watched in New Jersey where thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down.”
Shockingly, not all Americans agree with this new patriotic policy. Liberals try to defend the hateful terrorists. This just proves that they are terrorist sympathizers! But, yet again Trump has a solution for their anti patriotism! Our beloved government promises to put every Islamic loving liberal through an extensive and painful program that will make them more patriotic than ever. This program will re-teach them the true values of being an American and how Muslim ideology goes against everything we believe in. Many would call this brainwashing, but that’s incorrect. This program simply rewires Americans’ brains to remind them who really belongs in this country.
To prevent further spread of Islamic ideas we have banned Islamic symbols and books from media and schools. And to ensure that the rest of the world is just as great as we are, Trump has decided to bomb all countries that refuse to adopt our new Free America law. Every day we are reminded by the loudspeakers in our homes and on our televisions of how great the Free America Act is. Without Trump a safer America would never be accomplished. So today we come together to heil Trump for his patriotism and dedication to freedom. He has finally made America great again.