What It Takes To Be Famous

Hi, my name is Cydney and I want to be famous,  but the odds of that happening are pretty slim. Don’t you think? So last night when I was watching this movie about a girl who killed herself I thought, ‘that’s it’. This is my shot to be famous and the best part is, it didn’t look that hard. I planned it out so that it would progress over three months. Everyday I would come home just a little more depressed than I was the day before. I made the teachers believe that some girls were talking about me, the crazy part is they didn’t even investigate. They simply believed me since bullying is such a sensitive topic. My parents seemed so concerned and I did feel guilty about putting them through this some days, but it’s not like they would be out of kids.

 

Today is the day. The day I become famous. A week ago I came up with the best way to do this without too many scars, if I’m going to be popular now I have too make sure I still look great. I also wanted to make sure that it would be the epitome of dramatic, which it will be. I will write the best suicide letter and when my parents leave for date night I’ll use the alone time, it’s the perfect moment.

Here is the itinerary:

6pm- parents leave with the little ones

6:30- (I’ll wait thirty minutes to start anything out of the ordinary because they have been known for turning around and coming home and we don’t want any screw ups) I’ll make the perfect playlist, it’ll be a story.

6:40-  I’ll light the candles. No I’m not going to set the bathroom on fire, it’ll look like an accident that way, and this was all me.

6:50- Time to light the incense. I want to be as comfortable as possible unlike all the people who actually hurt themselves when they do this

7:00- I’ll run some bath water. I like to let it run hot then cool down. I know you’re probably thinking she is going to drown herself, but no thanks I don’t need anymore water weight.

7:30- The rose petals. It will make the people love me, and the public will speculate the petals to mean so many things I’ll probably win an award.

7:35- I’ll get the straight razor out of the medicine cabinet, I’ve heard this is the best tool to use

7:37- I’ll get in the tub and make the 1 in deep cut vertically first with my non dominant hand and second with my writing hand.

7:45 I hope that by this time I will be unconscious

8:00- The parents will come home with the little ones, and because mom has drunk so much she’ll have to use the bathroom. She’ll walk in to the surprise of one less child.

 

The police showed up about fifteen minutes after my mother stopped crying hysterically. By the way, great timing Officer Clayton. It’s like he knew when she stopped and then he showed up. About five minutes after the cameras found out they pulled up in their van, good work Gary the cameraman maybe one day they’ll let you be the face. Now that mom and dad just seem sad, I’ll never get famous. They need to cry, they need to sell it otherwise my story won’t sell. The only thing that will get them to truly break down is to read the letter, they need to read the letter that tells them about the pain and the heartache their poor little baby went through.
It worked perfectly; mom fainted and dad fell to his knees when they were asked to read the letter in front of the cameras. Thanks for being so money hungry Gary. That’s a wrap people! I may have killed myself, but Cydney will never be dead.

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What It Takes To Be Famous

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