Dear Wyatt Larson,
After reading your outstanding letter to the Mayor of SF, I told myself that I needed to get in contact with you. I would like to introduce myself, my name is John Owens and I am from Silicon Valley. I just recently moved to SF to be in the beautiful Bay Area but I was astonished by the inhumane things I now live amongst. I didn’t imagine how many filthy homeless people are living on the streets of SF. Just to set the record straight, I HATE lazy, ignorant people that dont want better for themselves. I attended Harvard University and that’s how I became the educated, talented, and brilliant man I am today. I worked for everything I earned, my education, my career, and my multi-million dollar house but all homeless people want is for everything to be handed to them like they’re some type of Kings and Queens. Like doesnt the government give them enough support… all they want to do is make people feel sorry for them and I’m sick of it. I see their bullshit and I hate that they try and take advantage of people by holding up those pathetic signs to seek individual’s sympathy and hard earned money. I hate them, I hate everything about those idiots who are called humans. On top of all the chaos they cause, those grimy scumbags are fucking insane embodying the hundreds of mental illnesses they have. I hate being around people like that … like can’t they just go and get some help. I mean if I had something going on with me, I wouldn’t sit on my ass and ignore it, I would go and pay millions to get treated. We’re so much better than them man, like just imagine a world without those freaks.
Larson man, these animals are about to take over our city and we can’t let that happen. I am a powerful man and I truly come from greatness. In fact, Hitler and I are distant cousins and I am still to this day amazed by the impact he had on the world. What he did to those Jews is the same type of treatment these beggars should receive. Bringing back concentrations camps would be revolutionary and ultimately the solution to our vital problem. Think about it… rounding these ignorant pieces of crap up and putting them away into these camps would be isolating them from the world and that just makes everyone’s lives easier. The reason why it hasn’t been done is because no one has had the balls to do it but I do. I guarantee that this will happen. I’m so powerful I can get the freaking world leaders on my side, and honestly it wouldn’t take a lot of negotiating either because they know they want to see these irrelevant people gone. I want you to work with me because I know that we’re both powerful people that can make the necessary changes that we wish to see.
If you work with me Larson, we can control these animals and treat them like our slaves. So let’s allow these tramps to become our source of entertainment, since that’s what they make out of themselves anyway. We can make them our amusement by torturing these ungrateful beings. We can crush them by elephants… boy that’ll be fun. I would love to see these pitiful beings eaten alive by ravenous Rottweilers. We can place hungry and angry diseased rats in buckets on their chest and faces, and heat the bucket until we see their bloody red organs no longer functioning. What will really be fun is hanging their gross, ragged, and filthy bodies from the underpasses they used to live under. That’ll help show the hard working class our diligent work to get rid of these unfit creatures. In the end, who would even notice that they’re gone anyway?