It will come as a surprise to no one that Joe Biden was arrested after having allegedly been living within the the White House walls, spying on federal activity and occasionally feigning ghost noises for his own amusement. While the hauntings and mysteriously disappearing Eggos from the freezer caused a catastrophic disturbance among White House staff, the most notable result of Biden’s prank-gone-too-far were the tapes which he recorded while in hiding. 


The most remarkable of the tapes was made in January of this year, the day before Trump signed the executive order on immigration. In the recording, one can clearly hear an anonymous advisor say, “I would strongly advise against this order, sir. It will certainly be deemed unconstitutional,” to which Trump responded, “Constitution? I never read it, hand me that pen.” A slightly more disturbing comment was caught from within the walls of the Oval Office, regarding the protection of transgender students in schools. Trump clearly states, “It’s unbelievable what people think they can get away with these days. Kids trying to claim the right to use the bathroom? Give me a f****** break. Peeing is a privilege, not a right.”

Although it is perfectly acceptable for a president to show such ignorance in areas he should be informed in (presidents do that all the time, right?), Trump has publicly apologized for his statements, and claims that he was “just kidding around”, and that of course, he has most certainly read the “Constituent”, all “fifteen commandments” of it.



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