Moneyball Without The Money

ben-asEvery spring, the increasingly diminishing fanbase of the Oakland Athletics anxiously awaits to find out how their team will let them down once again. The mad scientist in charge, Billy Beane, goes into his lab every off-season and tries to create a winning team out of everyone else’s leftovers. By the motley crew that shows up at spring training, you’d think that Beane recruits his team from Little League (although, Little Leaguers probably have more fans than the A’s). As a result, A’s fans are not surprised when their team plays more like the notorious Bad News Bears instead of the major leaguers that they are supposed to be. It looks like half the players have holes in their mitts and everyone is running into each other. Or maybe, the players are just running away from the sewage that flows into their clubhouse because the team owner is too cheap to build a new stadium. At least A’s fans don’t have to wait in line to use the bathroom;there is always plenty of room around the horse troughs. The other good news is that last year, fans got to see many A’s players in the playoffs and World Series. Unfortunately,they were all playing for other ball clubs since Beane always trades his best players as soon as they start to show promise. Are the A’s really a major league team or just a training ground for bonafide teams? Apparently, Billy Beane’s infamous moneyball strategy seems to have gone completely bankrupt and lost its balls.


2 thoughts on “Moneyball Without The Money

  1. michaelthegoat says:

    hahaha ben, I love your satirical article about the A’s. It was great and the irony is hilarious because of the A’s record last year. Great Work Ben!


  2. jacksonnnn18 says:

    Ben I totally relate. I have been so patient with the A’s and everything the organization is doing, but enough is enough. I mean we are really scrapping the bottom of the barrel picking up “everyone else’s leftovers.” I am excited to see what their season holds because I love the A’s, but Billy Beane has got to go.


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