My Mom has finally done it. She’s put me over the edge. Today to school I wore a pink shirt with flowers on it. May I repeat, A PINK SHIRT WITH FLOWERS ON IT! NO ONE at my school wears these kind of childish and unstylish shirts. Everyone at school must think that I am a baby. All of the cool 7th grade girls have boyfriends because they have THE shirts. Their shirts are pristine white, uncreased, and are from the holy grail: Forever 21. That place in the mall with the bright yellow bags. The place where the shirts read “I only did it to get likes” and “Kiss Me, I dare you.” The place where miniskirts and crop tops dominate the sales floor. My mom says I am too young to shop at this place. What? Come Again? Is she ok? Like should we take her to the doctor? Like it’s 2017. It’s the year of dressing to impress! Miley Cyrus gallivants around wearing little to nothing, and everyone loves her. Everyone in magazines and on TV wears mini skirts and bra tops, so why can’t I wear them too?! I am going to be a loser forever if I don’t wear those Forever 21 clothes. Since my Mom has no sense of style and won’t listen to me, I’ve come to the conclusion that my Mom hates me, and simply wants me to die a slow and painful death.
My funeral is next Monday, in case you were concerned.