Diary of Judge Persky


Dear diary,

Nobody’s perfect! Small town boy from the suburbs in Ohio made a small mistake. I just don’t get why everyone’s so upset. This is America; everyone deserves a good education. Sure the victim’s mind might be in a state where she has trouble even getting up, but a man with such potential to be jailed? What a disgrace! Felony counts, shmelony counts it’s not like he’s the only one to do it. Come on, some people even get Oscars for it. I thought Turner’s early release should be celebrated. A state prison sentence is way too much for someone of Turner’s age. Turner’s young he should be out there living it up! He’d never done anything bad before. As the kids say “Blame it on the alcohol”. I mean sometimes my court decisions are made under the influence. I wake up and behold, I’ve been led to the white, I mean right… decision. Turner’s judgement was impaired, of course he wouldn’t have done it under different circumstances. Sometimes it’s just the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully, Turner’s sentence was cut short. That could’ve done some serious damage to a helpless kid like him. How horrible to have a birthday in jail! He probably didn’t even get to have birthday candles. I couldn’t let that continue. Why are people so mad at me for showing some mercy? 

Anyway, someone totally took my parking spot earlier today UGH. I’m totally going to make sure he gets years in prison.

Love, Persky

Diary of Judge Persky

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