Royals Who?


The Sacramento Kings are officially the broken llama of NBA teams. The front office is run by Vivek Ranadivé AKA the human vulture and Vlade Divac the darker abominable snowman. It’s going to be his first and last time being a GM, in the draft he has selected two talents and has picked four busts that are actual trash. This would not be too bad except that he traded both of them away, Isaiah Thomas away for Alex Oriakhi. Oriakhi had never played a game in the NBA in his life! Divac got rid of a possible hall of famer for literally nothing. How does that trade even happen? Like the kid never played so how are they going to get rid of their starting point guard for him. They also traded Demarcus Cousins who had spent six seasons with the Kings, and had never won more than 33 games. It is an issue if it takes two seasons to still have less wins than the Warriors in one. Not to mention that they have fired every head coach they have had for the last seven years. They haven’t been in the playoffs for a decade. The last time they were actually in the finals was in 1951, when they were still known as the Rochester Royals. Who the hell actually knows about the Rochester Royals? It’s been 66 years and the Kings still do not have a good team? But hey, at least they won more than 9 games in a season… Yea I’m looking at you Bobcats.

Royals Who?

2 thoughts on “Royals Who?

  1. xjaissen2kx says:

    I like your satire piece Alex. The way you structured your sentences made the satire great and you explained how the Sacramento Kings are making terrible decisions with their trades.


  2. chris32123 says:

    I like the way your tonoe was structured in a very sardonic manner. It adds a lot of humor to the piece while still presenting the topic.


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