I Sent Myself To A Gay Conversion Camp

Hello reader, I know you don’t know me but I feel like I have something important to share, and since you can’t stop me I’m just going to keep talking. So a little background, I’m from a small suburb in Alabama, and I’m 14 years old. My name is Carl blahblahblah (my parents told me never to put my last name on the internet). I consider myself to be pretty popular at my catholic school, so you can imagine my surprise when I found myself with the disease.

I thought it only happened to those quiet weirdos who sit in the back of class. When my best friend asked me if I had contracted this disease, if I were a gay, I punched him. It was then that I knew this sickness was dangerous and something had to be done. I couldn’t let the hatred consume me, I had to stop it from the source. If I had learned one thing from my church group, it’s that the disease must be cured otherwise it is only made worse. I don’t know how I could be so stupid to have caught it. That disgusting homosexual mindset. I decided I am stronger than that and I will have control of my life. I did what any rational person should do, I decided to send myself to a gay conversion camp.

I was worried about how my parents would react to my decision.When I asked if I could go to the conversion camp, they said yes as long as I kept up on school work. They told me how proud they were of me to be acting so mature about my condition, and they gave me another gold star to put on my wall (I put them in the shape of a crucifix!). They helped me find a cute little camp near in Alabama (their exact location is meant to be secret unless you’re enrolled so sorry). It was there that I was able to regain my true self. I know that there are many kids that are going through the same hatred I went through before my conversion therapy, so I wrote this letter to show them that going to a conversion camp will be the best decision of their life.

At the conversion camp, I learned that the process is actually called “sexual re-orientation”. I LOVE that phrase; it just sounds so adult!


On day one, the leaders of the camp put us in dark, cold closets and left us their for a few hours. This was to show us how horrible life in the closet can be, therefore it is so important to choose to remain straight in order to never be in the closet. I found that activity to be quite moving. At some point (I lost track of the days with all the fun I was having), they had us go in a dark room and made us watch videos. These weren’t just any videos; they said these videos were to educate us on the heterosexual experience. The videos showed everything I ever I could ever wish for. It showed conformity at its finest, and I know for a fact that conformity equals safety. We weren’t allowed to look away which confused me, because why would anyone want to look away? The only thing better than watching it is living it, and I now get to do that thanks to this whole process.

Again, I’ve found this whole thing to be incredibly rewarding. I hope whoever is reading this can help these kids. These conversion camps are something like a dying art form, but they really help. That’s all I have to say but remember, it’s never too late to choose straight.

Thank you and God bless,

Carl Blahblahblah

I Sent Myself To A Gay Conversion Camp

One thought on “I Sent Myself To A Gay Conversion Camp

  1. sarahsparkles078 says:

    I really liked this! Such great insight and especially when you proposed that people should just avoid the closet all together


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