Single with kids? SIGN ME UP!


Hello to the many single parents and divorced partners alike! I am the new child support agency executive known as Marissa Witkowski. For those who do not recognize my previous work, I had written a couple books about the issue of divorcing called Not There? Not my Problem! and Oh Yeah, I Have Four Kids. A better way to tell my own personal story is to imagine a six year old boy with his nine year old sister needing to go on a road trip with their mother to move in with their grandma. As I had just been divorced with my husband, we do not really have a true home, we do not have any money, and we don’t get child support from their father. I had to work two jobs that take up fourteen to eighteen hours of work a day, just to come home and make dinner for my kids, and wake up again the next day and do it all over again for years. No extra support, no increase in money, all alone with my children. I did not want the burden of having to tell my children the reality of what is going on as it would make them feel worse than how we already feel. They needed to be kept alive and healthy to feel as if I did not let my children down in any way. Even when I knew there was no money left, I would still go out and buy my son that cool monster truck toy of “Grave Digger” because I know how much he likes them and I am determined that he will still be able to feel as if he is a kid even if we have to go through struggles. I really do wish that my son will one day be able to put his children first like I have done for him and his sister many times.

This would be less of a struggle had there been some kind of extra source of income or an extra parent to help. My family may have been able to help sometimes, they should not have to bear taking care of my children all the time for there lack of a male role model in their lives. With all of this said, I have figured out a brand new way to completely destroy deadbeat parents who are not apart of their children’s lives. Currently if they do not pay child support than there are normally a bunch of precautions of stuff that is supposed to happen. Breaking these rules are supposed to let out a punishment, however they are almost never punished with not paying since this is more of an ignored issue.

However, could all of this actually be ignored if we spice up the rules a little bit? From now on, every single parent who does not pay their monthly child support to the parent who has custody over the children will instead lose a body part and will continue to lose a single body part monthly if they continue to stop paying child support. They would lose a more important part of their body if they fail to pay for multiple children each month as well, instead of losing like a toe they may lose an entire arm for example. They may stop paying their ex husband or ex wife once the child turns eighteen years old. This may also stop divorce rates to continue to rise, as it is now about a third of marriages end with divorce. Imagine if this was cut down to a measly 5-10% it would not even be seen as an issue anymore due to how uncommon these cases would be. 


Work Cited

Livingston, Gretchen. “Fewer than Half of U.S. Kids Today Live in a ‘traditional’ Family.”       Pew Research Center. N.p., 22 Dec. 2014. Web. 07 Mar. 2017.

Bird, Beverly. “What Happens When You Don’t Pay Child Support.” Legal Beagle. N.p., n.d.      Web. 7 Mar. 2017.

Dawn. “Single Mother Statistics.” Single Mother Guide. N.p., 17 Sept. 2016. Web. 07 Mar.            2017.




Single with kids? SIGN ME UP!

Royals Who?


The Sacramento Kings are officially the broken llama of NBA teams. The front office is run by Vivek Ranadivé AKA the human vulture and Vlade Divac the darker abominable snowman. It’s going to be his first and last time being a GM, in the draft he has selected two talents and has picked four busts that are actual trash. This would not be too bad except that he traded both of them away, Isaiah Thomas away for Alex Oriakhi. Oriakhi had never played a game in the NBA in his life! Divac got rid of a possible hall of famer for literally nothing. How does that trade even happen? Like the kid never played so how are they going to get rid of their starting point guard for him. They also traded Demarcus Cousins who had spent six seasons with the Kings, and had never won more than 33 games. It is an issue if it takes two seasons to still have less wins than the Warriors in one. Not to mention that they have fired every head coach they have had for the last seven years. They haven’t been in the playoffs for a decade. The last time they were actually in the finals was in 1951, when they were still known as the Rochester Royals. Who the hell actually knows about the Rochester Royals? It’s been 66 years and the Kings still do not have a good team? But hey, at least they won more than 9 games in a season… Yea I’m looking at you Bobcats.

Royals Who?