Think Ahead

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Who knew that true love was real? I guess that it just takes some trial and error to find your one and only. I met this guy named Sean on Thursday at my best friend’s party and it’s been a total of three days now. He finally asked me out last night and he is taking me to a movie and dinner tonight! I know I shouldn’t get too excited, but he is really cute and nice and polite and smart and cute.

Wait, did I already said that?

Anyways, I am getting ready for my date and he should be here any…HE’S HERE! Oh my God! Okay, Ashley, get it together. Tonight will be great if you just stay calm. Okay, here we go.

I open the door to my knight in shining armor. He dresses up so nicely! He greets me and walks me to his car and opens the door for me. Sean is such a gentleman.

As we were driving to the movies, he turns on the radio and the song “That’s What I Like” comes on and he tells me that it’s his favorite song. What are the chances that his favorite song is the same as Jake’s? My ex. Whatever it’s just a song, it doesn’t really mean anything. Does it?

We walk inside and I notice the way that Sean walks is pretty similar to the way Jake does, long strides because he’s tall. I swear it’s like every step he takes, he remind me of Jake. NO, Ashley, stop thinking that. You’re on a date with SEAN, not Jake! Sean is a great guy, stop comparing.

Finally, we are sitting inside the theater. Sean went to the bathroom, but when he left I realized his phone fell out of his pocket. I went to pick it up for him, but then I saw that he got a text from someone named ‘Julian’. Who is Julian? Is it girl? Is he just another Jake? He was coming back up the stairs, so I just put his phone back on the chair.

I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the date because all I could think about was the stupid girl who was texting my boyfriend. Even during dinner he got a text…and on our way to drop me back off at home. I wanted to confront him about it, but I didn’t want him knowing I went through his phone and I didn’t want to make it seem as if I were jealous.

I don’t want Sean to cheat on me like Jake did because he so perfect and I need him in my life. So I need to come up with a new plan to get rid of this Julian girl. I stayed up all night trying to come up with a plan to make sure Sean will only be mine.

At 4 a.m., I finally got an idea.

All I had to do was get rid of all the girls in our town named Julian, but how was I going to do that? I could hire someone to kill them off. A professional of course! I called a hitman to do the dirty work for me and I finally got to relax at home without a worry in the world that I would be losing the love of my life to some other girl.

The next day on the news, all they could talk about was the mass serial killings of all the girls named Julian. Sean, of course, came over to make sure I was okay and stayed with me for the rest of the night. When we got to talking about the incident, he started telling about his friend Julian. I rolled my eyes, the last thing I wanted to do was hear about her. But then I heard Sean say, “I joked with my friend Julian how lucky he was to be a guy, or else he’d be dead, too.”

Julian was a guy?!?!?! How was I supposed to know?

Well, at least we know now that Sean won’t cheat on me with any girls named Julian.

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Think Ahead

Bright Stars, Not So Perfect

Preview of the Oscars

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THE OSCARS! Everyone raving and excited about the annual event where they get to see their favorite actors and movies get awarded for their excellence. It came time to award the winner for the Best Picture. Everyone waiting in silence to hear if their prediction would be true. Here it comes: “And the winner for Best Picture goes to…La La Land!” Half of the crowd was cheering and the others had looks on their faces as if they were the ones that lost. The cast of La La Land, including the fabulous Emma Stone, cheerfully walked up the stage as if they were certain they’d be receiving this great honor before their names were called. Each of them started giving their speech and giving shout outs to their mothers watching from home. “HOLD ON! STOP, STOP!” we hear a man saying running onto the stage. He tells them that there ha been a mistake.

Never in the history of the Oscars had there been a grand mistake made like this one. The director of La La Land comes back to the microphone to announce what had just happened to the audience. The real winner is Moonlight! The crowd started clapping very confused about the event taking place. The director continues to announce, “This is not a joke. There has been a mistake. Moonlight, get up here.” The two casts switch place as the crowd’s cheers get louder. How sad the cast of La La Land must be right now. To literally have your dreams in your hands but taken away because you were told it was a mistake. Yikes. I hope they are able to recover from this public embarrassment.

Well, that wraps up the Oscars for tonight folks. With an unfortunate mistake that we hope will not happen again.

Bright Stars, Not So Perfect