Cover Up

dress-code-rape-birmy-michelle24 year old, Linda Cromwell was just sentenced for life in prison, with no possibility of making probation for the death of 3 year old, Sadie Perkins, and 33 year old Patricia Perkins (mother of Sadie Perkins), and the intentional assault and battery of 22 year old, Richard Wells.

In the court’s official Desposition, the following was stated.

On March 2, 2017, Linda Cromwell was going on a mid morning Sunday walk, wearing a haltered baby blue tank top, revealing her smooth shoulders and perky breasts, with a pair of tight black leggings, topped off with a sleek high ponytail. As she was walking she came across Richard Wells, also out on a mid morning Sunday run. After bumping into Richard unexpectedly, Linda twirled her hair, blinked three times, turned around,  fluttered her fingers as she waved, gave the world’s brightest, warmest smile, and laughed as if her laughter was a Grammy award winning song, all depicted as by what Richard Wells had seen. After Linda’s given performance, Linda ran straight out into the street without looking or paying attention to the oncoming traffic, which Sadie and Patricia Perkins were a part of. Patricia did not see Linda or Richard, who was following Linda into the traffic, but not upon his free will.  Patricia Perkins ended up ramming into Ricard Wells at around 40 mph, which not only severely damaged her car, but the lives inside and on top of the car. Seconds after the crash, ambulances and police came to the scene, where Sadie and Patricia Perkins were announced dead on site, with Richard Wells in deep critical condition. Linda Cromwell was arrested by officials, and taken to the Knox County Jail.

Weeks after Linda’s arrest and most importantly, weeks after the deaths of mother and child Patricia and Sadie Perkins, the trial went live.  From several eyewitnesses, the court was filled with families and victims like Richard Wells who have been affected by the temptations and affected by the loss of complete control from seductive looks and acts that women like Linda put upon men. It’s absolutely disgusting that these women know that they have the power to control every single bit of man’s sexuality, but yet still abuse that power.

Doctor Franks, was called to the stand and helped prove the claim that women are responsible for men’s sexual actions, “It’ simple science when I tell you that men lust more than women, losing all senses of their self control. I don’t get why women are offended by this. They should feel better about themselves that they have such a strong gift.” -Doctor Franks

It was more than certain that Linda Cromwell was going to go down for the worst possible crime committed since human existence.  “Knowing that on that sunny Sunday morning, it was going to be a hot day, I took the risk of wearing such clothing, and knew that it was inappropriate and revealing. I deserve what is going to happen to me, because I made the decision to wear clothing, and put my hair up to show my neck and shoulders, knowing that it would cause men to drop to their knees and start salivating, just at the sight of me. I finally had the control of something for once, and took advantage of Richard Wells, which is the reason why he started coming after me. I deserved what he was planning to do to me. I deserve this pain.” -Linda Cromwell

Linda proved to be the worst woman in human history, but she was honest with herself, the court, the victims, jury, and the world. Hopefully women will think twice about what she wears in public before causing such harm and hurt in this world.

Cover Up

A$$ = Likes

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Have you ever posted a picture you absolutely love on Instagram, but no one seems to notice or like it, so you put it upon yourself, to make yourself feel uncool, all because the amount of views or likes is too low for the ego? Fear no more, the secret is out. The top three ways to get more Instagram likes are listed below, without looking like a desperate try hard.

Filters: People are instantly drawn to stuff that’s a different color than what it’s supposed to be. Go ham with the filters, and please avoid using the black and white filter. It makes one look lonely.

Edit: When people say edit your photo, they say it because you ,or the tree your posing in front of, looks like complete crap. With a simple tap/swipe here and there,  you will forever be thankful, along with all your followers.

Make it All About the Butt: Everything is about whose butt can out beat the butt of all butts, Nicki Minaj. The butt pose is a little hard sometimes, because not many have one, and it makes one look downright desperate. When posing, arch the back slightly to give the illusion that you’re booty to the licious, and with the help of some editing and filters, you can enhance your butt features, giving off the impression you are the new queen of all butts.

Go and make teen girls jealous, and most certainly, make me proud.

XOXO,

Sally Warren (Social Media Expert)

A$$ = Likes