“Burn for a Cause”

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As times change so do the measures and ideas we have to establish and create about how to live on this earth. With the constant problem of world hunger and poverty we as a nation have to do something about it. Too many people are dying every day in every part of the world. Even my own ancestors experienced some of the struggles of a lack of food. Because of this I feel an obligation to make some kind of difference in the world while I am alive. I, Muhtar Kent, the CEO of Coca Cola, am officially implementing the “Burn for a Cause Plan”. This plan will really amaze you about the process and how effective it can be. We Americans have way too much food to begin with. In fact, 40% of our food actually goes wasted anyways. On the other hand all the starving people in Africa, one of the biggest if not the biggest country in the world, who are struggling to make ends meet. Well do I have the solution for everyone. The Africans need to get moving to get their starving dying spirits up so what better way to do that then by forcing them to do labor. What kind of labor you might ask. Labor such as burning the excess food that America has. The leftover food that is still perfectly fine and edible has no use for us so we could just ship it to Africa and make them burn it. We will have to figure out what is the most cost effective way to transport the extra food but once we do it will be a nice process. Those dying Africans in their giant country, I really don’t know how with a country so big they are so poor, will feel satisfied that they were able to help America. Once all those people die off though from starvation because they do not have access to food, we will need to find something else to do with our perfectly edible food. I was thinking maybe ship it to the amigoes in South America, also a really big country if you ask me, and let them burn it. Support for this plan is through the roof. They see benefits for both sides.  For America and the Coca Cola company we get rid of our excess food and can feel good about ourselves that we are helping people in Africa get up and moving. This allows them to die of starvation with the thought that they are helping the world. We will also be sending care packages to the president of the prime minister, whatever the hell you call it in that country past the big lake in between us. By the way don’t take your kids to lake Lake. I think it’s called the Pacifier  or something and get this, it is hella salty. My son Kuhtar Ment started crying. But back to the task at hand, those care packages will be a nice add of to the “Burn for a Cause Plan”.From you America all I need is a simple donation. Think of it as you being apart of the next big thing in American history. I mean I know I want to be a proper noun in a kids essay 50 years from now. Maybe by that time they will realize how big Africa is and make it a continent. Call it “Big Africa”. In conclusion, the more work those starving people do the quicker they die. The quicker they die the less people on this earth. And who really cares about the lower class anyways. It’s time to get rid of the people who are bad for society and start focusing on the people who are trying to make a change, like me, Muhtar Kent. I am Muhtar Kent and I approve this article.

“Burn for a Cause”

Invisible Wall

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So Trump has dropped one of his hammers. This man just signed a piece of paper that turned from a tree to a piece of poop. The piece of paper says refugees and immigrants from seven countries can’t come into the country. Well Mr. Donald Trump, based on those standards your own wife, the women of your children, would not have been allowed to the country. So when is she scheduled to leave?  We are really putting America first Mr. President. Spending thousands on resources to keep people out of our country instead of putting that money towards our own citizens. So great job Mr. President. We have officially reached the promised land. We aren’t letting people into our country and are going to spend millions to keep people out. How much of that will go into the flight your wife will take back to her country. Because she isn’t allowed either. Trump must really believe in his policies if he signs things that basically says “F**k you” my wife.  Let’s give him a round of applause. We got to get a word with one of Donald Trump’s advisors yesterday at a coffee shop because he wants to be away from the white house as much as possible. When asked about the ban the only worlds he could say were, “What is that?” Well now our president isn’t even using his advisors. America, we are officially in for a shithole of a time the next four years of our lives.

Invisible Wall