Always Tolerant

The matter of underage drunk driving has gotten a lot of attention over the years with organizations such as MADD (mothers against drunk driving) and SADD (students against destructive decisions) making outrageous claims such as that alcohol kills more teenagers than all other drugs combined or that one in six teenagers binge drink. However, there has yet to be a support group created supporting anti-sobriety. There is that connotation that alcohol is a temporary fix to your problems, therefore becoming an alcoholic can only result with the positive effect of a long term solution to all your problems. This is when I came up with Always Tolerant.

IMG_7512Growing up with alcoholic parents, I was exposed to alcohol since birth and started drinking when I was 6 years old. As a persistent alcohol drinker, I felt the qualification and duty to help the people of my city become more intuitive with their drunk driving self. Along with anything else in life, there is a dangerous risk in driving under the influence. It takes great skill and practice to perfect the art of drunk driving ensuring maximum thrill while on the road. Here at my driving school, Always Tolerant, our goal is to guide others to the status of a valuable drunk driver meaning one can get into limitless amounts of accidents killing tons of people and receiving only minimal injuries themselves. This idea for a drunk driving school came about after one night, I had drank twelve 8 oz. beers and 32 shots at the prom after party.  I usually consume a way greater amount than that, so I thought it would be fine to go ahead and take the 55 minute drive home down i-80 at 2 AM. I was having the time of my life swerving 160 MPH down the interstate with the radio blasting my favorite song. I would have said that night to be really successful until I found myself ten days later waking up from a coma in a hospital bed. I was discouraged to see that for the first time ever, I had put myself in harm’s way and I was even more devastated when the doctors bared the bad news that no one was affected in this accident except me! If I remember one thing from that night, it was that I had my eyes on those twins in the back seat of that gray sedan. I could have sworn it was a clear shot directly at them! Two kids dead in one go. All I needed was to kill those two kids to be happy, what more could I ask!? Those two deaths were all I needed to hit a new record of 42 kids in 3 months, but instead I’m the one stuck in this hospital. To make this experience even worse, the nurse had called the police! What are the police even doing worrying about an alcohol drinker when they have their own issues like eating donuts or beating the innocent. Alcohol is the least of our problems. It was meant for a good time and a relaxed feeling, so how dare us view it negatively when really it is a gift from above.  Statistics show “In 2014, 9,967 people were killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes, accounting for nearly one-third (31%) of all traffic-related deaths in the United States” (CDC). This shows that these drunk drivers are not trying hard enough in their efforts to kill as many people as possible. We as a community of drunk drivers should have at least 99% of the kills. I believe we can get there with enough hard work and dedication. This tragic time became a new motivation for me. I felt that I had failed the thrill of drunk driving and from that day forward, I’ve made it a mission to become a valuable drunk driver of society. With my driving school, I hope to work to achieve this mission with those who embody the same goal as I do.

Always Tolerant

Breaking News: Procrastination Really Does Save Lives!

img_5110

Teachers could assign us homework weeks, months, or even years in advance but students will still manage to put it aside until the last minute. Socially deprived nerds would say procrastination causes death because students aren’t be able to eat, sleep, or even function properly. However, students from Doandew High School have conducted a study and concluded a result equatable to the Law of Nature proving that 1.) nerds aren’t so smart and 2.) procrastination prevents deaths. Students who planned to work at a job were found dead before even arriving to the working location. A student witness says, “I saw Jimmy die right before my eyes! It’s like he knew the world was turning against him, so he took matters into his own hands by taking his life. I think we can really discover how PROCRASTINATION REALLY DOES SAVE LIVES!” This heartening story was the final step in revealing the truth that procrastination does have it’s benefits. First off, procrastination lowers stress. Secondly, it teaches prioritization. Proper procrastination can unveil passions that you were unaware you actually had hidden, the most common being: pacing back and forth, continuously refreshing Instagram, binge-watching Netflix, and eating out of boredom. Procrastination really is lifesaving to students everywhere. It will always be on your side and something to rely on in times of desperation. Next time, before deciding if you should do your homework, think about how sitting and staring a wall would be much less painful.

Do things you enjoy and put your work aside to ensure the most productive procrastination moments.

Breaking News: Procrastination Really Does Save Lives!