I Have All the Support I Need


Terra Rized, a local student at Burnton University of Life and Love of Youth (B.U.L.L.Y.) recently graduated from her seventh grade class with the highest honors on record – a black eye, three missing teeth, and even a fractured ankle. When asked about how she came to amass such high praise, she stated that “…it was easy with all the supportive people around me. Whenever I felt down, there were always people in my class that would pull me right back up. ‘You can’t do it,’ they would say, ‘you don’t mean anything to anyone.’ Their words really inspired me to work hard to overcome my uselessness. But it wasn’t just this. Every day someone would tell me to bring money to school. For what? I would ask. ‘Don’t be an idiot,’ they would always reply. At first it started with the $2.30 my mother had worked so tirelessly to collect so that I could have my own school meal, but eventually it rose to $3, then $5, then $8, and eventually $10. And at the end of the day I’d be feeling great. Why? Because I got to know that everyone was well fed despite the gnawing hunger of my own stomach.”

“Of course, the guidance never stopped there, as I was always accompanied by a small group of friends on the long walk home after school. Each step I took posed a new challenge to overcome, as I’d constantly be falling against the hot cement when my feet went flying out from under me. ‘Get up,’ everyone would laugh, stomping their feet against the pavement near my head, ‘yeah, get up!’ So I would peel myself from the ground and stagger forward a few more steps until I reached home with a scraped chin, bleeding knees, and tears of joy trickling from my eyes. And even then they just kept showing me their love. They would come into my house and be shamefully polite to my mother, who in turn would scamper away as my friends dug through my closet. ‘Look what I found’ one of them would shout as they held up one of the last pictures of my father, ‘Haha! He’s so ugly.’ I laughed along with them.”

“Even though I felt the most support while they were around, they never seemed to want to leave me on my own. Isn’t that super sweet of them? I mean, I felt so pumped at the end of the day that having everyone suddenly disappear was like something out of a nightmare. What am I supposed to do? I would worry in the latest hours of the night. What if they just leave me alone? Please Lord, let them be there tomorrow. Please. And every morning I’d hurriedly collect my belongings and dash out the door towards my waiting companions, the breath I had been holding released into the sweltering morning air.”

In her final statement, Terra Rized explained how she wishes everyone can have a chance to experience the love of her companions. “I have been at this school for only two years, but no one ever seems to have the intent to abuse or scare me. In fact, all they really want is for me to succeed and feel happy with my life. How do I know? It’s just the way that they say everything: ‘You’re so fat,’ or ‘Those glasses are so ugly on you,’ or even ‘Go die.’ Can’t you see how much they care? I mean, they are giving me flat out tips to make me the most successful and optimistic person that has ever existed. That’s why, when I look around campus, I always feel sorrowful for all the students that haven’t had the opportunity to be tripped or punched or thrown like a rag-doll. Maybe they just don’t require as much help as I do. Nonetheless, I’m just happy to be able to get a chance to experience such affection and adoration from my fellow classmates.”

I Have All the Support I Need

Girl Gets Lost in Her Own Backyard


Two months ago, or was it two days ago? An hour? A minute? Whatever. Some segment of time ago, my parents dropped me off not too far from my house. At least, I think. Of course, I was too busy jabbing at the invisible keypad on my phone to know exactly where I was being taken. I mean, I had better things to do – Selfie anyone? But anyway, my parents dropped me off and confiscated my phone, something about “enjoying the fresh air…” and what not. The strange thing is that I feel like I’ve been here before. I mean, just look at that lawn chair… It looks exactly like the one in my yard – creepy. Oh! I know! I’ll take a pic for Snapchat. Who knows, maybe it’ll get me a few more followers. Hold on, where is it? WHERE IS MY PHONE? Did I drop it? No. I-I mean, I couldn’t have right? It was right here a second ago. Maybe I can call for help. *dials 911 on palm* “Hello?”

“I’m sorry, the phone you are using does not exist. Please try again.” No. NO! Someone help! Please, help! I’m lost! M-m-my phone is gone, and I don’t know where I am. Someone. Anyone. Please!

“Will you shut up? You’re in the backyard.” Mom? Is that really mom? Oh my god, I’m saved! I’m saved! Mom, stay right there. I need to get a selfie with you to show everyone that you just saved my life. Wait, mom where are you going. Don’t leave.

HELP, I’m lost!

Girl Gets Lost in Her Own Backyard