A Punishment Worse than Death

juvenalian satireGood Morning America, today Congress has just passed the new emergency laws pertaining to recent sexist acts against women in America, lately women have been experiencing this anywhere from their jobs and home, to shopping malls and restrooms, as a result women have banded together to petition a new law calling it the Anti-Sexist Social Acts otherwise known as the the ASS Acts. President Hillary Clinton has officially designated this law as priority one of the White House agenda stating that “Women have the right not to be criticized on their womanly characteristics, they shouldn’t be ridiculed for bleeding in their underwear during the month, they shouldn’t be ridiculed in the workplace just for having breasts and a uterus on her body, and they shouldn’t be called like an animal on the street by their male masters. We as women already go through enough carrying human beings within our bodies while our male counter-parts carry only themselves through life”. This new law is to be enacted immediately as of March 8, 2019 which is no way related or affiliated to International Women’s Day coinciding as well. While many citizens feel that this law is key to have more equal rights for women, there is resistance against it being enacted in some states coming from the organization, WLT (We Love Trump) which feels that it is hindering American progress. However despite their protests, Congress will continue to go through with this law in an effort to stop sexism against women. Today Congress will institute the ASS acts which will follow these formats.

Men if being sexists will be instituted with a pregnancy drug.Men will be given this drug which will get them pregnant within a matter of 2 months. So men should not be sexist during this time as it will elongate the period of their pregnancies. Men if they don’t stop being sexist will be given a new drug which would mean a new pregnancy after giving birth to the baby. Although some men are reluctant to do this, Congress is not backing down from this type of law.

Men if being sexist will be also instituted the drug which will give them the feeling of a women’s menstrual periods. It is very painful and simulates an attitude that women feel during this time. Men should not be agitated during this time and if they wish may seek asylum at government rooms where they will be alone for at least 24 hours. Men will also get food during this time as well if they feel the need to eat. If they would like to stay a longer period of time then they will stay for another 24 hours if they wish to.

Many people throughout the nation respect the wishes of this new law, however some are opposing resistance as mentioned before. Men throughout the nation see that this law doesn’t make any sense and believe that what women go through is non sense. One report from a man said that, “Women don’t have to do anything at all, just cook and clean, is that too much to ask?”. WLT is seeking to stop this act from affecting any state in the world, however chances of them doing so are slim. Only time will tell if this will be truly the end of sexism as we know it.

 

 

A Punishment Worse than Death

It’s the Little Things that Count

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Look everyone knows about our new president Donald Trump, if you don’t really know about him than probably either you’ve been living under a rock for the past year or you’ve just heard about him on your local newscast with huge updates on his Presidential schedule such as going to the bathroom and taking a dump. Americans have been divided on their perspective of Mr. Trump, either he’s a good person who will change the U.S. for the better  or he’s just a flat-out business tycoon who has no actual “business” in the Presidential company. There’s a lot of reasons people hate Donald Trump whether it’s just looking at those smallish hands of his which makes a person squeal with anxiety our world leader having those or just his face which may look like Jackie Chan squinting really hard but just on a regular basis. Oh don’t get people started on his hand gestures, oh boy, those hand gestures, every time he does that it looks like he’s signaling part the illuminati or some secret group. People even get mad whenever he says “Make America great again”, every time I hear that on the news with a bunch of liberals in a press conference with the President, the rage, the anger, the confusion on their faces, It’s just hysterical the way they think about who our current President is right now. Sometimes after Mr. Trump gives  a speech, you can hear a faint little echo of a liberal crying on a lonely mountain for Obama to come back but sorry buddy it’s not happening anytime soon. 

It’s the Little Things that Count