UGLY PEOPLE MAGAZINE TOP STORY: Teen Reveals the Truth Behind Beautiful Women, They are Actually Ugly!

IMG_4055Cover up Ugly with Beauty From a Package

By: Disgust Grodie

I am a 15 year old teenager who hates my body, my personality, my life, and even my whole existence! I am just your typical depressed girl who struggles with looking ugly and feeling disgusting. Why did God put me here on this dreadful Earth of ugly women and flawless men? I just can’t take it any more! I have been put to the test, if you ask me. Women and teens just like me, might as well cover up their true ugliness with beauty that material desires can provide. It is so easy to go to Target and buy loads of makeup to look truly beautiful. I love sitting at my makeup table every morning and caking on 10 layers of foundation and then drawing my eyebrows on until they frame my face perfectly. Oh, and I can’t forget to wear loads of mascara to tame my ugly hairs that grow from my eyelids. Now clothing on the other hand, Forever 21 is a must have because that is what all the sexy, appealing women models are wearing nowadays. When I wear sexy clothing to school and around town people always tell me how pretty I am and how lucky I am to have such a great life. Well aren’t they jokester. They are so kind, telling me that I am beautiful, because in all reality they do not know how ugly I truly am deep down inside. If I did not have the amazing life savers, makeup and appealing clothing, I probably would be regarded as a street slum because I am so ugly.

Honestly, it is not worth it any more to go around without covering up the inner ugly that I project into the world. Makeup saves many people from being blinded by my hideous face. Let me ask you this: What do you think the boys at school think of girls when they see them without makeup or cute clothing? Well I can tell you straight up. They think those girls are pretty darn ugly! When us girls put on that layer of makeup, wear certain clothes, and act a certain way, it makes us truly beautiful. Thank God for beauty that comes in a package, otherwise I’d be doomed.

I get it. I am pretty ugly. Compared to everyone else I feel like I am the most grotesque girl in my class. My hair, my skin, my eyes, my teeth, heck, every single bone in my body is horrid. I wake up every morning and stare at myself in the mirror until I can find my true beauty, but it never happens. I cannot find my inner beauty because it does not exist and neither does it truly exist for any other woman in the world. Studies show that 78 percent of women have “love handles” and “chubby thighs”. I can’t believe that women are stuck with having such ugly features that we have to somehow cover up if we ever want to look appealing to the public.

Okay, so I have finally come to a conclusion about women. Statistics reveal that women only hold three percent of public jobs. This number is significantly low because the world obviously knows us women are truly hideous, disturbing human beings. On top of that, women are considered to be too emotional, letting feelings get in the way of their professional work. It’s surprising that no woman has ever thought of this reasoning before. Now everything is finally clear to me! Men are impeccable and women are disgusting creatures. Women could possibly pass as mediocre looking creatures, only if they try their hardest to look somewhat presentable. If you are a woman reading this article, please do your ugly-self a favor, buy some makeup or do something to cover up how disgusting you are!

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UGLY PEOPLE MAGAZINE TOP STORY: Teen Reveals the Truth Behind Beautiful Women, They are Actually Ugly!

Blondes Are Really Going Extinct, I Promise!

If someone were to take a quick glance at me, they would say, “Oh she is just a typical white, blonde, girl.” I guess that’s true to a certain extent. I live in a nice house, eat delicious food, and sleep whenever I want, which is quite pleasant I might add. Sounds like a pretty stereotypical ‘white barbie’ life, right? Well, I have been blonde ever since I was a fetus, and I can’t really do anything to change that. If we are being frank here, everyone just assumes that I am ‘that dumb blonde’. Heck, us blondes are going EXTINCT! We are dying off because we are loathed so much! But let me tell you something that will knock your socks off; BLONDES ARE NOT STUPID! I know, what a shocker! Before I was born, If I could have asked God to go into my mother’s womb and do a little rearranging of chromosomes to ensure I wouldn’t get stuck with being blonde, that would be first on my To-Do list. Just because I’m a little slow-witted doesn’t mean I’m dumb. When people say, “Ha Ha, you are such a dumb blonde”, I let it go just as how blondes shed their vibrant hair, but later I find myself sitting alone in that dreadful pool of blonde hair again. I am determined to show the world that not all blondes are dumb and if you want to join my movement, please feel free. SAVE THE BLONDES FROM GOING EXTINCT, because it really happening!

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Blondes Are Really Going Extinct, I Promise!