Police File: 21105A

January 9, 2017
Today, my therapist made write a sexual history diary to “heal.” So I’ll start here.
I have always been into children. But my desire skyrocketed when I was around 50, in 2000. Children were common among my friends, and as they played in my living room, I realized just how beautiful innocent, dainty they are. So in 2001, I married some slut from the local strip, gave her a ten here and there, and she gave me a kid.
Once my daughter was born, I made sure she was known to her father as much as possible. When she was four, at least once a day, she’ll serve me and my craving for her, for children. It was beautiful, the way she screamed, the way she cried, the way she would slump against the wall, eyes blank, tucked away from the world. I take pleasure, so much pleasure in breaking the dolls. As she got older, I gave her a few more siblings. They served me, but the boys were so ugly, they deserved punishment. So whips here and there became my favorite past time. Seeing the glisteningly red blood slowly trickle down a stomach or chest, somewhere a teacher wouldn’t be suspicious, was beautiful. But setting them on fire was the most enjoyable, their screams shrill and piercingly high, they give me the chills even now. Oh, I still long to hear their screams…
But it still wasn’t enough. Not even close enough. So wfhen Angel started school, I made sure that the playdates with her friends were enjoyable. I always made sure, always, that they had a good time.


As Angel turned eight, I started realizing that it wasn’t enough. Angel and the boys were too…ordinary, typical. I needed more and the park near my house was always full of kids and negligent parents. I would take care of them! I would give them the attention they deserve, give them everything they could possibly want! So slowly, I began to monitor the kids at the park and the parents most likely to leave their kids and go and fuck at home. So he stood out to me. I never really liked boys, they were too hardened, just ugly. But this one, this one, he was beautiful. And who knows, he might be sufficient to appease my needs.
I was right. I’m always right. His service was… mind-blowing. Because he was phenomenal, I always made sure to reward him and Angel, after all I won’t allow her to become jealous.
Two years passed, and although they performed exceptionally and I was always satisfied, there was a craving for more. The area around me was rumored to have pedophiles so parents now avoided having children around. This made satisfying my needs a lot harder. I had to resort to the taboo, I had to start permanently borrowing children from my office. I could lose my job! It was easy, as a pediatrician, I just had to tell the kid’s parents that some official organization needed to take him away to cure his infectious and deadly disease.


Sadly, the prick escaped and told on me to his mommy and daddy. And that’s the story of how I’m in court.


But in all honesty, sex with an eight-year old should be fine. And is secretly fine, check the amount of child pornography and pedophile membership organizations on the web. People are just too scared to acknowledge different things, interests and hobbies that vary from the mainstream. And as long as people have money, most will be willing to forgive just about anything. I gave old Justice Smith a New Year’s bonus, and I got a year.

January 10, 2017
Today, the news is reporting on public backlash from my sentence. Again, these people are just scared of what is different. To educate the public and end pedophiliac discrimination, I propose legalization of child pornography, kidnapping, public masturbation, and abolishment of age of consent laws.

Police File: 21105A

Update: Lazy, Obese Woman Still Lives Healthy Lifestyle

img_0335Recently, a local American woman has come to Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and countless other diet companies for help. Jenny wanted to lose 100 pounds in the next week to get ready for her 35th birthday with her kids and husband. She has an especially healthy diet-a few bags of chips, 3-4 sticks of deep fried butter, and a few pounds of cherries a day-for her age. Jenny says she can not wait to get started with her new plan as Weight Watchers has promised to help her lose 100 pounds in less than a week without changing her diet.

During the first 3 days, both Jenny and Weight Watchers were surprised that the pounds were not sliding off. They had gave her an extreme workout, consisting of a 0.5 mile walks every day, of which she did not do. Jenny strongly disagrees however, claiming that she does walk 0.5 miles, in fact, she walks 5 everyday, as a character of the Sims 2. Jenny says that she is especially healthy in the game, only eating a bag of chips and a stick of butter a day. Jenny also goes to the gym in her video game life, often working out for a few hours a day.


Jenny has recently sued Weight Watchers for wasting her time and money and won $400. In a statement to the Colour Times, Jenny says that with the money, she will buy the newest edition of the Sims and will continue challenging herself in her daily workouts.

Update: Lazy, Obese Woman Still Lives Healthy Lifestyle