99 Problems and Hunger Ain’t 1

Americans eating unhealthy

      Good Morning great citizens of Eritrea. As you may all know, many Africans are dying due to the famine of this year, 2011. We, as a nation, are one of the few countries who miraculously are not suffering from this famine. Every family in this country have a bag of rice per year and they are incredibly happy to have that. Many of the family went up to me saying that a bag of rice is so much and that half a bag of rice is enough for a whole year. Those families have around seven to eight people in it. For example, this thirteen-year-old right here have a family of 8. They came up to me yesterday and thank me for giving them a bag of rice for a whole year. They told me that by the end of the year, they would not be able to finish that single bag since it’s so much. With the amount of food that the country provides, the citizens might as well not go to work. What’s the point of going to work when there is a free bag of rice laying around the house? People are complaining that they are unemployed, but that is not even a big problem in this country. If jobs are unnecessary in this country, what is an education for? Schools are a waste of money, so we can save money by abolishing all the schools and colleges. Most people get education so they can get a job but education is useless if the citizens do not need to go to work.

Although the death rate in this country is well above fifty percent, it is very low compared to Nigeria, Sudan, Comoros, and many more. The deaths in our country are due to all sorts of illnesses, it has nothing to do with hunger. Our agriculture is at it’s best right now, food insecurity is not a problem to our country. Even if we stopped growing crops and stop the agricultural life, we would still have enough rice for the next ten years. Our country is basically set for the next decade, we are one of the better countries in this world. All the fifty-plus percentage of people that died of illness, do not worry about them. The diseases will eventually disappear from our country.

      Many of you might wonder why many of us are so thin and scrawny. The reason is that our country is developing in a very organic way. On the other hand,  America is developing dangerously fast with all of their technologies. They use their technologies to make their food very unhealthy, it is what we called GMO food. We look like this because we are eating healthy food and not GMO food, we are also conserving our food. Unlike those fat Americans who have around three to four meals a day, we are actually eating a healthy amount of food. That is why we are not obese like many of the Americans. When we were suffering from hunger, other countries did not help us at all. Our perfect country is free from food insecurities is because of us, because of our citizen’s own hard working hands. Therefore, do not bother helping other countries because the famine is hitting them hard. Let them die out and essentially, the whole continent of Africa can be ours. After that, our plan will be to spread Eritrea’s culture and ways of living across the continent of Africa. We can be an example for other nations so they won’t live an unhealthy life that will lead to obesity. Since most women are insecure about their oversized weight, we can be an example for them so they can live a healthy life which will boost their self-esteem.

99 Problems and Hunger Ain’t 1

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

What a beautiful Sunday night, the temperature seems perfect! I don’t want to waste this beautiful night doing something boring, like sleeping, psh. Hmmm what should I do? Hang out? Watch movies? Play video games? Nope. Definitely not. Boring! What’s a risky and fun thing to do? Burglary!!! Cool, that will make the night fun. There are about two to three unlocked windows, but there is also a chimney. Maybe if I sneak through the chimney, they would think that I am Santa Claus and just maybe, maybe they would welcome me. Alright, first I need to carry a 20 feet ladder with me, not suspicious at all. If I get caught, it might be hard to run away with it…. but… might as well get a workout in. It seems very easy going through the chimney, it looks like I can just slip right in. Wow, great… I’m stuck. What’s that smell? Why does it smell like something is burnt, what’s that black powder? Can this night get any worse? I am completely covered in ash, I can’t even breathe. Anna better pick up her phone… “Hey Anna, so I’m stuck in a chimney, call 911 because I really need help, I’ll text you the address of this house. Thanks! You’re my savior.”  Wait…Oh No! Did I tell her to call 911? Omg, here comes the police! Actually, it might be better in jail than being in this uncomfortbale nasty place.

#cashmeinjail

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town