How to Fend Off a Muslim Child


When I was fifteen I came across uh Muslim child that was about tree to five years old. ‘At was the scariest day of my life. If it weren’t for my good friend Billy Bob Joe I would be alive today. He was able to use these here steps that saved my life and could save your life too.  Even if y’all comes across a three year old Muslim boy they might look as cute as a speckled pup in uh red wagon,but they can still be uh dangerous. I’ll teach you how to be able to adapt, solve, protect yourself if you ever interact with a Muslim child.  

The first thing you have to do is to see where you are located. For example if you are in a park, mall, shopping center, building, outside, and inside your chances of survival is much more limited, unlike if you’re in a safe place. What are safe places? Well safe places are bunkers, trailers, and the woods. IF you are in these places than you will have a much higher chance of surviving than the other list I gave out to you. This is probably one of the most important rules because known your chance of survival could mean life or death right there.

The weapons that these children use are also a good way to see if you know what their intention is. If they do have a baby bottle, be very cautious around them because most of the time there is a bomb in it. If you see they are in a stroller also be cautious because there will likely be be a bomb in there too. Strollers are more dangerous because the fragments of the stroller can impale you from great distances. IF there is nothing around them and they are all alone you will be much more safe, but have a awareness because many mistake them to be harmless.  Whatever you do, do not back a Muslim child into a corner because you can seriously get injured or even killed.  

The second part of this guide to protect yourself from a Muslim child is to learn you what is a Muslim child and what is not. They may look innocent and look like any other kid, but don’t fall for it. Now to spot them out from a mile away is by looking for a child that has any kind of hood on, and has darker skin than a true American. Once you have spotted out those kids anywhere, stay a safe distance of 100 feet away, and if by chance you do see a grown Muslim stay clear about 200 feet away. Even though older Muslims are less likely to attack they can be more destructive. Their language is the devil, and they mudder stuff to themselves and to others. If you even think you are hearing something that doesn’t sound familiar automatically think terrorist, or Muslim child.

If you did not do a good job of the first two steps in how to stay away of a Muslim child, and you come into contact with it, be prepared to do what is next. Now there are a couple of ways of doing this, but you have to figure out the best way of getting out alive. First what you can do is by pretending to become its friend so it doesn’t see you as a threat. If that doesn’t work, take action before it can explode. Many mess up this action by calling the police, but don’t!  You have to act or you die. Lastly, you can not be a dumb ass.  Follow the first step, and don’t even get into a bad situation.

Life is very dangerous in America today, and these here steps are a way to keep your family safe. Nowadays, these Muslim children come into our country just to terrorize us.  These steps helped save my life and I want to save yours too.

How to Fend Off a Muslim Child

Love the Drug


Governor Brown,

My name is Molly Goode. I am 15 years old, and I attend Mary Jane High School in San Francisco. I am writing you today because there is an issue that I would like to propose a solution to: the issue of teenage drug use. The problem is that not enough teens have access to drugs, and I think this should change immediately. Some drugs can calm people’s nerves and make it easier for them to get through the problems they face in their lives. Teenagers like me have to deal with pressures of school, relationship drama, trying to figure out our futures, and many other difficult things that can cause a person to lose their mind. Because of this, drugs can help us relax and cope with the struggles we have to face every single day.

For example, my parents are currently going through a divorce, and I’m getting caught in the middle. This situation is making everything, especially focusing on school, harder than usual. Using drugs would help me calm down and take my mind off of what’s going on in order to be able to pay attention to my schoolwork so I can keep my grades up during this hard time. One of the reasons I can’t do this is because it’s illegal for me to use drugs, but I don’t think this should be the case. I propose that drugs be legalized for people 13 years old and up, on the condition that minors will only use it to escape and avoid their problems. This will make life easier for teens who have a lot going on in their lives and need something to help calm their nerves so they can get back on track. For a lot of us, it’s hard to stay focused when everything around us seems so much more important than what we actually need to do. I believe drug use is the way for us to stay on the right track for our futures.

An example of the calming effect drugs have is shown in my 21 year old sister, Sherry. She recently informed me that alcohol is a drug, which I was unaware of. Sherry told me that whenever she goes through a difficult trial or setback in her life, such as a terrible breakup or a failing grade in college, she simply goes out and gets drunk. It helps her to forget about everything going wrong in her life, everything she has managed to screw up yet again, and it enables her to feel happy again, even if it is just for a few hours. Because of alcohol, my sister’s life is not nearly as miserable as it would be if she wasn’t drunk all the time. This is another reason I want drugs, including alcohol, to be legally available to teenagers.

If drugs are legalized, there should be a punishment for those who genuinely abuse drugs. This punishment should be a year long probation from anything worthwhile: school, jobs, basically anything that can cause them to lose sight of what is truly important, that is, properly using drugs and getting over addictions so that they can get back on the right track. Furthermore, if drug abuse does develop, a requirement should be that the abuser must start using a different drug in order to stop depending on the other drug. Once an addiction is broken, the abuser may go back to using the original drug they were addicted to, but it must be in moderation, and it must only be as a coping method to genuine life problems.

As you may know, there are many people who feel the same way I do. I have enclosed a petition in this envelope, signed by over 3,000 California teenagers, who also wish for drugs to be legalized for minors ages 13 and up. I hope you will take the time to consider this possibility, and make it a reality for all of us.

Sincerely yours,

Molly Goode

Love the Drug

Police File: 21105A

January 9, 2017
Today, my therapist made write a sexual history diary to “heal.” So I’ll start here.
I have always been into children. But my desire skyrocketed when I was around 50, in 2000. Children were common among my friends, and as they played in my living room, I realized just how beautiful innocent, dainty they are. So in 2001, I married some slut from the local strip, gave her a ten here and there, and she gave me a kid.
Once my daughter was born, I made sure she was known to her father as much as possible. When she was four, at least once a day, she’ll serve me and my craving for her, for children. It was beautiful, the way she screamed, the way she cried, the way she would slump against the wall, eyes blank, tucked away from the world. I take pleasure, so much pleasure in breaking the dolls. As she got older, I gave her a few more siblings. They served me, but the boys were so ugly, they deserved punishment. So whips here and there became my favorite past time. Seeing the glisteningly red blood slowly trickle down a stomach or chest, somewhere a teacher wouldn’t be suspicious, was beautiful. But setting them on fire was the most enjoyable, their screams shrill and piercingly high, they give me the chills even now. Oh, I still long to hear their screams…
But it still wasn’t enough. Not even close enough. So wfhen Angel started school, I made sure that the playdates with her friends were enjoyable. I always made sure, always, that they had a good time.


As Angel turned eight, I started realizing that it wasn’t enough. Angel and the boys were too…ordinary, typical. I needed more and the park near my house was always full of kids and negligent parents. I would take care of them! I would give them the attention they deserve, give them everything they could possibly want! So slowly, I began to monitor the kids at the park and the parents most likely to leave their kids and go and fuck at home. So he stood out to me. I never really liked boys, they were too hardened, just ugly. But this one, this one, he was beautiful. And who knows, he might be sufficient to appease my needs.
I was right. I’m always right. His service was… mind-blowing. Because he was phenomenal, I always made sure to reward him and Angel, after all I won’t allow her to become jealous.
Two years passed, and although they performed exceptionally and I was always satisfied, there was a craving for more. The area around me was rumored to have pedophiles so parents now avoided having children around. This made satisfying my needs a lot harder. I had to resort to the taboo, I had to start permanently borrowing children from my office. I could lose my job! It was easy, as a pediatrician, I just had to tell the kid’s parents that some official organization needed to take him away to cure his infectious and deadly disease.


Sadly, the prick escaped and told on me to his mommy and daddy. And that’s the story of how I’m in court.


But in all honesty, sex with an eight-year old should be fine. And is secretly fine, check the amount of child pornography and pedophile membership organizations on the web. People are just too scared to acknowledge different things, interests and hobbies that vary from the mainstream. And as long as people have money, most will be willing to forgive just about anything. I gave old Justice Smith a New Year’s bonus, and I got a year.

January 10, 2017
Today, the news is reporting on public backlash from my sentence. Again, these people are just scared of what is different. To educate the public and end pedophiliac discrimination, I propose legalization of child pornography, kidnapping, public masturbation, and abolishment of age of consent laws.

Police File: 21105A

I Sent Myself To A Gay Conversion Camp

Hello reader, I know you don’t know me but I feel like I have something important to share, and since you can’t stop me I’m just going to keep talking. So a little background, I’m from a small suburb in Alabama, and I’m 14 years old. My name is Carl blahblahblah (my parents told me never to put my last name on the internet). I consider myself to be pretty popular at my catholic school, so you can imagine my surprise when I found myself with the disease.

I thought it only happened to those quiet weirdos who sit in the back of class. When my best friend asked me if I had contracted this disease, if I were a gay, I punched him. It was then that I knew this sickness was dangerous and something had to be done. I couldn’t let the hatred consume me, I had to stop it from the source. If I had learned one thing from my church group, it’s that the disease must be cured otherwise it is only made worse. I don’t know how I could be so stupid to have caught it. That disgusting homosexual mindset. I decided I am stronger than that and I will have control of my life. I did what any rational person should do, I decided to send myself to a gay conversion camp.

I was worried about how my parents would react to my decision.When I asked if I could go to the conversion camp, they said yes as long as I kept up on school work. They told me how proud they were of me to be acting so mature about my condition, and they gave me another gold star to put on my wall (I put them in the shape of a crucifix!). They helped me find a cute little camp near in Alabama (their exact location is meant to be secret unless you’re enrolled so sorry). It was there that I was able to regain my true self. I know that there are many kids that are going through the same hatred I went through before my conversion therapy, so I wrote this letter to show them that going to a conversion camp will be the best decision of their life.

At the conversion camp, I learned that the process is actually called “sexual re-orientation”. I LOVE that phrase; it just sounds so adult!


On day one, the leaders of the camp put us in dark, cold closets and left us their for a few hours. This was to show us how horrible life in the closet can be, therefore it is so important to choose to remain straight in order to never be in the closet. I found that activity to be quite moving. At some point (I lost track of the days with all the fun I was having), they had us go in a dark room and made us watch videos. These weren’t just any videos; they said these videos were to educate us on the heterosexual experience. The videos showed everything I ever I could ever wish for. It showed conformity at its finest, and I know for a fact that conformity equals safety. We weren’t allowed to look away which confused me, because why would anyone want to look away? The only thing better than watching it is living it, and I now get to do that thanks to this whole process.

Again, I’ve found this whole thing to be incredibly rewarding. I hope whoever is reading this can help these kids. These conversion camps are something like a dying art form, but they really help. That’s all I have to say but remember, it’s never too late to choose straight.

Thank you and God bless,

Carl Blahblahblah

I Sent Myself To A Gay Conversion Camp

Single with kids? SIGN ME UP!


Hello to the many single parents and divorced partners alike! I am the new child support agency executive known as Marissa Witkowski. For those who do not recognize my previous work, I had written a couple books about the issue of divorcing called Not There? Not my Problem! and Oh Yeah, I Have Four Kids. A better way to tell my own personal story is to imagine a six year old boy with his nine year old sister needing to go on a road trip with their mother to move in with their grandma. As I had just been divorced with my husband, we do not really have a true home, we do not have any money, and we don’t get child support from their father. I had to work two jobs that take up fourteen to eighteen hours of work a day, just to come home and make dinner for my kids, and wake up again the next day and do it all over again for years. No extra support, no increase in money, all alone with my children. I did not want the burden of having to tell my children the reality of what is going on as it would make them feel worse than how we already feel. They needed to be kept alive and healthy to feel as if I did not let my children down in any way. Even when I knew there was no money left, I would still go out and buy my son that cool monster truck toy of “Grave Digger” because I know how much he likes them and I am determined that he will still be able to feel as if he is a kid even if we have to go through struggles. I really do wish that my son will one day be able to put his children first like I have done for him and his sister many times.

This would be less of a struggle had there been some kind of extra source of income or an extra parent to help. My family may have been able to help sometimes, they should not have to bear taking care of my children all the time for there lack of a male role model in their lives. With all of this said, I have figured out a brand new way to completely destroy deadbeat parents who are not apart of their children’s lives. Currently if they do not pay child support than there are normally a bunch of precautions of stuff that is supposed to happen. Breaking these rules are supposed to let out a punishment, however they are almost never punished with not paying since this is more of an ignored issue.

However, could all of this actually be ignored if we spice up the rules a little bit? From now on, every single parent who does not pay their monthly child support to the parent who has custody over the children will instead lose a body part and will continue to lose a single body part monthly if they continue to stop paying child support. They would lose a more important part of their body if they fail to pay for multiple children each month as well, instead of losing like a toe they may lose an entire arm for example. They may stop paying their ex husband or ex wife once the child turns eighteen years old. This may also stop divorce rates to continue to rise, as it is now about a third of marriages end with divorce. Imagine if this was cut down to a measly 5-10% it would not even be seen as an issue anymore due to how uncommon these cases would be. 


Work Cited

Livingston, Gretchen. “Fewer than Half of U.S. Kids Today Live in a ‘traditional’ Family.”       Pew Research Center. N.p., 22 Dec. 2014. Web. 07 Mar. 2017.

Bird, Beverly. “What Happens When You Don’t Pay Child Support.” Legal Beagle. N.p., n.d.      Web. 7 Mar. 2017.

Dawn. “Single Mother Statistics.” Single Mother Guide. N.p., 17 Sept. 2016. Web. 07 Mar.            2017.




Single with kids? SIGN ME UP!

Pure Bloods



Being mixed isn’t easy. Everyday I look in the mirror and I’m reminded of my parents’ mistakes. Im a blend of the two, too dark to be considered a part of the superior race like my mother but to light to be negro like my father. I’m forced to watch their relationship everyday, and it is truly disgraceful. Even though they seem happy, it shouldn’t be allowed. I propose that interracial marriage comes to an end immediately in the United States. There are too many impurities being introduced to the white race, and it’s definitely an unnecessary evil to our country.

I know that it won’t be an easy adjustment for those, like my parents, who believe you should be able to marry who you want, but everyone must understand the dangers. It is introducing animal blood into the human race. Crania Americana, a book published by Samuel Morton, which I read in biology class freshman year, proved that their is a significant difference between blacks and whites when it comes to their makeup. Their skull shapes are significantly different, and the skulls of blacks look more like those of monkeys, than humans. I mean it’s not rocket science, all you have to do is look at them and it is more than obvious. Although people cry out for equality, and for people to be able to marry who they want, that is dangerous when some people are more human than others.

It will be a fight to get people to give up their bad ways, so extreme measures will need to be taken. A start would be to make interracial marriage illegal, but even that won’t be enough to fix the issue at hand. The federal government will have to step in for people to understand the severity of the issue. The government should have to approve of all marriages in order to prevent anymore crossing of the two races. Those who continue to rebel against the effort to save purity should than be made sterile, and forced to undergo torture in order to teach them the correct way of thinking.

Simply stopping blacks and whites from reproducing won’t be enough, there’s already too many people who come from mixed descent. There will need to be a mass execution of those who are not at least ⅞ th of either race. Executions should begin in the United States immediately. The best option would be to hold public executions in major cities around the country every two weeks in order to allow those of pure blood a boost in morale. There should be multiple ways for execution such as firing squads, hangings, drownings, and being poisoned. Cities should alternate execution style in order not to bore those watching. Within two years the United States will have no more people of both black and white descent.

Although I know that means I will be forced to die, this needs to happen. It is so hard looking at myself and knowing I will never be beautiful enough to make it in the world where whites are the only ones who can truly succeed. I hate my mother’s decision to ever put me in this position. I hate myself more than anyone can ever imagine and the only way for me to end my misery is to end my life. Not only will this be a way to help me, it will also help those unfortunate enough to have to deal with pain of coming from mixed descent, and feeling like you will never be accepted by either race.

I understand just how hard of an adjustment this will be for many people, but in about a decade our country will definitely be a much happier place because of it. We will be void of those of mixed blood and both the white, and the black races can develop independently of one another just as they were intended to do.

Pure Bloods

The Extinction of Human Sexuality


“The world without sex is the world where people should live in.”
Daniel Harris – The Speaker of The House of Representatives

As a public announcement to the National California Republic, the Senate has concluded that all forms of sex and sexuality as illegal. This includes all forms of media, discussions of sexuality, public organizations, and the action itself to all civilians. This also makes all young adults 18 to be chosen a potential partner or spouse from their parent or guardian. Furthermore, when the time is right, the couple will be artificially inseminated for childbirth of their desire. From the issued date of April 16, 2027; this act will be issued to all civilians and monitored and enforced by the Sexual Department of Defence.

The Senate of the NCR issued this act after the wake of several epidemics that resulted in citywide outbreaks caused harm to the residents of the city. We see that sexual relations of any kind are threatening the republic’s potential strength to grow; harming civilians in the process. Just like the Data Transparency Act and the Explicit Content Ban from a few years back, this act will follow procedures. This will be a termination and dispersion of all sexual forms of media and organizations and the strict monetization of all discussion and activity to all NCR civilians.

After the issued date of April 20, 2077, the Sexual Department of Defence will take charge all over the NCR. This new organization will monetize all forms of media (phones, computers, television, radio, etc.) for civilians breaking the rules of the new act. Using cameras and advance tracking to capture and restrain all offenders of this new act. Anyone who is caught in the action in sex or sex discussion will be treated as a federal offense and will be treated strictly by the courts. Once convicted, offenders will have their reproductive organs chopped, hammered, or incinerated off no exceptions. If necessary they will be treated in mental care facilities afterward. 

After a few months on the issued date of October 16, 2077, the NCR government would have built many structures that will help in the process of partner selection and artificial insemination. This is where the government will issue all young adults turning 18 without a partner to be sent to pick their partner with their parents. This will be conducted with a few headcounts, government issued test, and personal interviews where the parents can pick the best pick for their son and daughter. This will be the intended partner from that point forward and will be issued to live with them in assigned homes. This is where they will have to be artificially inseminated to produce reproduction in the female without sex. This will be taken at all NCR government locations.

Since the wake of the 2050’s, accidents over sexual relations has grown over the years. The numbers of criminal cases and sexually transmitted accidents have grown extensively and harmed the morality of the NCR. These people who committed these acts are hostile, rebel scum who want to damage the reputation of the NCR. The massive outbreak on February 14, 2077, that endangered many civilians in most cities and was the final straw. The Senate discussed that there needs to be a change to the evil actions of sex and sex talk. In addition to a cleansing of the criminal scum which intent is to corrupt and overthrow the innocence of the NCR.

As a man who has raised a family of 3 kids and a loving wife; I can state that sex is dis-pleasurable and is immoral to the human body. As one republic we should stand together to ban and demolish the evils of sex and what it does to society. What the NCR needs right now is change and the freedom of rights to every civilian of the NCR. We want everyone to live freely without the fear or corruption of having sexual urges. We want our society free of the dangers vices of sex.  We need equal rights and freedom for all NCR civilians.

The Extinction of Human Sexuality