Breaking News: Procrastination Really Does Save Lives!


Teachers could assign us homework weeks, months, or even years in advance but students will still manage to put it aside until the last minute. Socially deprived nerds would say procrastination causes death because students aren’t be able to eat, sleep, or even function properly. However, students from Doandew High School have conducted a study and concluded a result equatable to the Law of Nature proving that 1.) nerds aren’t so smart and 2.) procrastination prevents deaths. Students who planned to work at a job were found dead before even arriving to the working location. A student witness says, “I saw Jimmy die right before my eyes! It’s like he knew the world was turning against him, so he took matters into his own hands by taking his life. I think we can really discover how PROCRASTINATION REALLY DOES SAVE LIVES!” This heartening story was the final step in revealing the truth that procrastination does have it’s benefits. First off, procrastination lowers stress. Secondly, it teaches prioritization. Proper procrastination can unveil passions that you were unaware you actually had hidden, the most common being: pacing back and forth, continuously refreshing Instagram, binge-watching Netflix, and eating out of boredom. Procrastination really is lifesaving to students everywhere. It will always be on your side and something to rely on in times of desperation. Next time, before deciding if you should do your homework, think about how sitting and staring a wall would be much less painful.

Do things you enjoy and put your work aside to ensure the most productive procrastination moments.

Breaking News: Procrastination Really Does Save Lives!

One thought on “Breaking News: Procrastination Really Does Save Lives!

  1. Chanelbrand says:

    Camille, you were greatly able to explicitly describe the real problem of high school, getting too much homework. You were able to talk in a way that would relate to all high schoolers, especially juniors who have so much AP classes. All students would laugh because what you said is very true because they do it all the time.


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