“I can’t leave my mansion anymore without my Filthy Rich Glasses” – Richard Miller
Homelessness in America is so prevalent specifically the Bay Area, where it is getting out of hand. Homelessness is on the rise again and nobody’s doing anything to fix this problem . The amount of families that can’t make ends meet rose to 30%, and now there are just homeless families on every street you go on. Don’t you just hate when you’re trying to walk on Market Street to go shop for designer brand clothes, but then you end up seeing a line of homeless people from the Tenderloin begging for money. We all know how fed up you are with all of these dirty vermins that are plaguing our city with their terrible and disgusting outlook. Well, I am glad to introduce to you a brand new technology called the Filthy Rich Glasses which will allow you to capture the feeling of having the American Dream.
Why deal with homeless when you could just ignore it completely with the Filthy Rich Glasses. Once you put on the glasses, your daily life will improve significantly. These glasses are created to block out all of the homeless, and they will no longer be a part of your life. Remember that old lazy man that was on the corner of your street. He is now gone thanks to the Filthy Rich Glasses. Not only will it help you get rid of the homeless from your sight, but you will also look so cool at the same time. All of your rich friends will be so jealous that they will have to jump on this life changing invention.
So how do they work? Well, the Filthy Rich Glasses are actually very easy to use. All you have to do is put them on and turn it on. Then, the glasses does the rest of the work. It filters out all of the homeless people while keeping the city looking clean. The glasses filters the filthy by detecting their nauseating odor. Then the glasses turns the odor into something aromatic. Although the homeless are still there in the streets, you will not even notice them. If the homeless are in your path, you will just trample over them and think that it was nothing because the Filthy Rich Glasses will make it appear like you are walking up a small hill. This will also encourage the homeless to stop being lazy and get off of the streets so they don’t get trampled.
My company is known for our great customer service. If your glasses are not functioning well and are having problems such as you are seeing a homeless person, we will replace your glasses free of charge. Also, on top of that, we will personally kill that certain person that you saw, so you no longer have to deal with that person in reality or in the vision with the glasses. This way we accommodate your needs while eliminating homelessness in the Bay Area. The future of the Bay Area lay in the hands of the rich and not the poor. This is why we care so much about your experience with the Filthy Rich Glasses.
You can solve all of your problems by paying small amount of $4000 per month. $4000 is not a lot of money. You probably pay that much on a daily basis. If every rich person paid that much money, we could possible end homelessness forever in the Bay Area. This revolutionary invention will change how we view the poor. With the Filthy Rich Glasses, homelessness will no longer be a word in our vocabulary. Being homeless is a thing of the past so get with the trend and end this disgusting way of life by buying the Filthy Rich Glasses.
Just remember, one pair of Filthy Rich Glasses is another step to ending the problem of homelessness in the Bay Area.
Satire and The American Dream 