Always Tolerant

The matter of underage drunk driving has gotten a lot of attention over the years with organizations such as MADD (mothers against drunk driving) and SADD (students against destructive decisions) making outrageous claims such as that alcohol kills more teenagers than all other drugs combined or that one in six teenagers binge drink. However, there has yet to be a support group created supporting anti-sobriety. There is that connotation that alcohol is a temporary fix to your problems, therefore becoming an alcoholic can only result with the positive effect of a long term solution to all your problems. This is when I came up with Always Tolerant.

IMG_7512Growing up with alcoholic parents, I was exposed to alcohol since birth and started drinking when I was 6 years old. As a persistent alcohol drinker, I felt the qualification and duty to help the people of my city become more intuitive with their drunk driving self. Along with anything else in life, there is a dangerous risk in driving under the influence. It takes great skill and practice to perfect the art of drunk driving ensuring maximum thrill while on the road. Here at my driving school, Always Tolerant, our goal is to guide others to the status of a valuable drunk driver meaning one can get into limitless amounts of accidents killing tons of people and receiving only minimal injuries themselves. This idea for a drunk driving school came about after one night, I had drank twelve 8 oz. beers and 32 shots at the prom after party.  I usually consume a way greater amount than that, so I thought it would be fine to go ahead and take the 55 minute drive home down i-80 at 2 AM. I was having the time of my life swerving 160 MPH down the interstate with the radio blasting my favorite song. I would have said that night to be really successful until I found myself ten days later waking up from a coma in a hospital bed. I was discouraged to see that for the first time ever, I had put myself in harm’s way and I was even more devastated when the doctors bared the bad news that no one was affected in this accident except me! If I remember one thing from that night, it was that I had my eyes on those twins in the back seat of that gray sedan. I could have sworn it was a clear shot directly at them! Two kids dead in one go. All I needed was to kill those two kids to be happy, what more could I ask!? Those two deaths were all I needed to hit a new record of 42 kids in 3 months, but instead I’m the one stuck in this hospital. To make this experience even worse, the nurse had called the police! What are the police even doing worrying about an alcohol drinker when they have their own issues like eating donuts or beating the innocent. Alcohol is the least of our problems. It was meant for a good time and a relaxed feeling, so how dare us view it negatively when really it is a gift from above.  Statistics show “In 2014, 9,967 people were killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes, accounting for nearly one-third (31%) of all traffic-related deaths in the United States” (CDC). This shows that these drunk drivers are not trying hard enough in their efforts to kill as many people as possible. We as a community of drunk drivers should have at least 99% of the kills. I believe we can get there with enough hard work and dedication. This tragic time became a new motivation for me. I felt that I had failed the thrill of drunk driving and from that day forward, I’ve made it a mission to become a valuable drunk driver of society. With my driving school, I hope to work to achieve this mission with those who embody the same goal as I do.

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Always Tolerant

4 thoughts on “Always Tolerant

  1. chloealice44 says:

    Camille I love your satire piece. The irony in this post about how you own a driving school to learn how to be a better drunk driver is very funny and scary at the same time. This picture is really good and fits your article really well.

    Like

    1. chloealice44 says:

      To add I really love how you give background about how this person had alcoholic parents and they started drinking at age 6, it made this piece serious and slightly funny because of the irony. You can improve the picture perhaps having a 6 year old hold a bootle of alcohol but I like your choice.

      Like

  2. jameshukanakalakahakanakahekahukanakalakafaka says:

    This satire is very effective due to it’s immense exaggeration. I really liked how you used hyperbole. Try to use more and really make it sound more ridiculous.

    Like

  3. gabrielaaronbalakey says:

    Camille’s satire was effective, especially when she uses an invective to show that killing two kids is all the speaker needed to get a new record of people being hit. I liked how dark her satire was, especially during parts when she is saying that drunk driving is a thrill. One thing that she can improve upon is expressing the differents tones of satire a bit more. Good job kiddo!

    Like

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