All Inclusive Fair Housing for Everyone!

Most people know that affordable housing in the Bay Area is now increasingly difficult to come by. With the influx of startup businesses becoming commonplace here, more people are moving in. There’s just one problem: there’s not enough housing that is affordable. I, Gabriel Metcalf, am a well-known advocate for affordable housing here in the Bay, and I would like to help those who are need of affordable housing. Year after year, housing prices have just been going up, showing little signs of turning back. So what does this mean for the average person? It simply means that housing it getting more unaffordable than ever before, and this is a huge problem for those living in the Bay Area.

All of you are probably here to find out how we can solve this growing problem. This is why our association is working hard to bring you what you need most, housing that is available to low-income people and their families. To put things into perspective, housing prices for the entire Bay Area went up 4.5 percent from 2015 to 2016. While it may seem insignificant to those wealthy people living alongside us, it is a huge impact to all of you. This constant rise is attributed to the influx of young and disgustingly wealthy tech workers who are moving here to snatch all the available housing. Some even going through the trouble of buying multiple properties and renting them out at ridiculous and outright unbelievable prices using the pitied service called Airbnb. These employees are just outright greedy and ignorant people, making the housing crisis here in the Bay even worse for all of you. Many people with low income can’t even afford a one bedroom apartment in San Francisco as the monthly rent is an average of $3,590, now who thinks that is sustainable on low income? Even if people do manage to rent from landlords, these people want to make even more money, but rent control prevents them from raising rent prices at ridiculous increments. As some of you many know, landlords have found loopholes to evict their tenants and bring in new ones while making rent even more expensive and unaffordable for the rest. This is clearly an unjust move and is making people furious which adds to the overall problem of everyone not being able to find a home.

I believe that all of you will enjoy a new proposal to solve this big problem. This proposal includes creating a new law that will have people who make more than $500,000 a year in the Bay Area be forced to move out of their current homes and give it up for those who want affordable housing. This will allow for wealthy people to get a taste of what it feels like to be evicted. For those interested in moving into these houses, a certain amount of people will be allowed to live in the houses and it is on a first come, first serve basis which is based on the size of the house. In order to enforce this, a new form of law enforcement will be created solely dedicated to having these wealthy people be evicted from their luxurious homes. If these people don’t comply, they will be forced to pay a hefty fine of $50,000 every time they refuse to be evicted. After three offenses, the enforcement team will forcibly evict and arrest them. The home will now be free for those people to move in.

This may seem like a dream come true for most, if not all of you here. There is, however, one condition that must be met in order to be eligible to move in. New tenants must agree to maintain their new homes on a daily basis, with a minimum time of five hours per day dedicated to keeping the home in tip top shape. I hope you all think that this is a fair tradeoff for getting fair and affordable housing.

The TSA Needs Major Cuts

Traveling through airports is a pain in the neck. The endless line for security, making everyone late for their flights. Taxpayers paying $7.6 Billion annually for these workers to do what? Sit on their asses all day and stare at a monitor? Harassing you while you are violated as you stand in a giant machine scanning your entire body? Sure enough, just about anyone can do their job, it sounds easy enough. Millions and millions of dollars went into new scanning machines that are so precise that it thinks you have something illegal on your head when there isn’t. People always end up getting pat down one way or another, so why use stupid machines? If million dollar “microwave scanners” can’t do the job, TSA workers minus well pat everyone down, now that will save a lot of money. Studies show that there is a 95% failure rate for the TSA catching bad items being screened. At this point, the TSA should be gotten rid of, if they only catch 5% of the bad and leave the rest for unsuspecting passengers. With this high failure rate, TSA officers would still miss most of the stuff that might be on someone, so they should be cut altogether. With our current President, more government budget cuts are inevitable. Since the TSA isn’t doing their job well, it’s clear who will be put out of work. That $7.6 Billion should be spent on something better than this floppy security.