Ahhhhh, what a wonderful day, I just finished chopping up the last pieces of the head of a person who had tortured an innocent. He was a part of the Killer Society 101 which is one of the biggest groups of people who aim to kill the innocent. It’s good to be getting rid of the mere trash that this thing was. It was quite enjoyable because I am a part of the Peace Corps., and we strive to get rid of the most gruesome, twisted people in this world who deserve nothing but to be put to death. Since that man had put that innocent young girl in a cage and burned her to death; we believe that the best possible fate for that man would be something of that equivalent but multiplied by one hundred. So I was given the best of luck to be assigned to assassinate this horrid creature, and so I did.
I am quite satisfied with my results, although I’m afraid I didn’t torture him enough; I could have done better. All I did for today was slowly gouge his eyeballs out whilst eating a popsicle because I made sure to not feed him for 40 days prior to his appointment. After I had skinned off every single piece of flesh that he had and put him into a bath of hot Cheetos and limes. I tried to make sure he was able to smell the fresh aroma of the little bits of chile powder that burnt his inner tissue. I could hear every single weeping scream that he made, and I questioned him, “So you didn’t realize how much pain and suffering you put that little girl in did you?” I made sure he got a piece of realization to not mess with an innocent again–if he even has an again…
What made me think that my torture session with that worthless criminal was not that good was because after I had put him into the acidic bath of hot Cheetos; he would not just die! I tried everything from running him over with my matte black Lamborghini Aventador and all his blood splashed everywhere, tying him to a rope by his neck and tying him to the back of my jet and flying 2500 miles per hour, and he still wouldn’t die! This one this time was quite frustrating, I tried everything and it had taken me forever to kill him! I really tried to ensure that he did feel the pain that he put his victim into.
I found out that the final way of torture to end this nobody’s life was by calling up the mother of the young girl that he had tortured to death to come and end this fool’s life. She had answered the call willingly, and she said that she was ready to inflict twelve times the amount of pain and suffering that he put her child in. She had chosen to crucify that horrible thing, and she made sure to slowly put him in so much pain without killing him, until she finally chose to tear off all of his limbs, and she wanted me to finish him off by chopping every little piece of the remains up and boil it as soup to serve to the starving animals in the area.
I think that this torture fest had went great because I got my job done by bringing peace into the world by torturing the bad guy, and the mother of the young girl that was killed by that man was able to gather revenge for her poor, young, daughter who was ill-fated with this horrid, lifeless, piece of animal food on the ground. The mother I am sure is proud to be able to give this evil person a piece of her anger. Overall I think it was a wonderful day of killing off bad people in this world that don’t deserve to live but rather to just burn in hell.That’s it for today!
Satire and The American Dream 